Attachment parenting

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NicoleKwong

Registered User
Hello, I'm new to HK and would love to meet and talk with moms who's practicing AP. I still BF my DS on demand who's nearly 12 months old, co sleep, and never go out past 7pm.
I feel like I'm the last one on the planet who's doing it and am getting a lot of pressure from families and friends .
Would love to hear from other moms who's in the same shoes..

Nic
 
Hi Nicole, I'm also AP with my newborn (co-sleeping, exclusive BF, baby-wearing, etc). I also have a nearly 4 year old. I BF him until 27 months, although we did not follow AP as closely with him i.e. no co-sleeping. So some of this stuff is new to me, but it feels much more natural and has made having a newborn much easier! However I'm not in the situation where I have pressure to stop any of this, yet...
 
You're not the only one! My dauther is now nearly three and although we've stopped breastfeeding, also at about 27 months, we still practice attachment parenting. It's definitely not the easiest parenting style, and most nights I am in by 7.00, but I wouldn't change anything. I haven't encountered any strong pressure about our parenting style, though I know from passing comments that some friends and family don't really understand.
Welcome to hong kong and feel free to pm if you want to talk some more!
 
i breastfed my 3 year old till he was abt 2.5years old and now bfing my 7 month old. all of us co sleep :)

yes i get lots of comments and unwanted advice on how we live. some days they drive me nuts but hey, it's our lives and it works for us.

welcome to hk :-D
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Thanks everyone, I don't feel alone anymore.

I didn't know about AP until DS was ~ 4 months old.. I just did what felt natural to me.. So one day I came across an article about AP then I realized that I'm a 120% AP mom!!
I was vey comfortable practicing AP and being an attentive mother to my baby.. But starting to have doubts these days.

I want to let DS know that I'm always gonna be there for him and love him, but I don't want my love and caring interfere him from learning to be independent.

For example:
He would not fall asleep without BF
He would only sit in stroller for 5-10 minutes, always wanted to be held or carried in a carrier
Still waking up ~4/5 times during the night ( esp the first two hours) to make sure I'm around ( I have to pad/ bf him to fall back asleep). No one else could comfort him except me.. that makes me not being able to go out past 7pm. I even have to take a shower before his bed time so I can get to him asap when he cries.. That puts a lot of pressure on myself because I always have my antenna out.. Am I nuts?
Still co-sleeping
Still BF on demand... Which gets a bit inconvenient when we go out because occasionally he would want to have a quick snack.

My question is.. Will he grow out of it?? Do I need to take a different approach now since he's getting older?

Nic
 
Hi Nicole, welcome to HK!

Your baby sounds 100% normal! All those things you described above sound absolutely normal and you seem like a very loving, tuned in mama..

I haven't found a lot of support here for AP, so I started my own little site recently. Its http://attachmentparentshk.blogspot.com/

Lali :D
 
Hi Nicole,

i used to have all of your qns :) and i was so unsure. everytime the baby cries, i'd panic and rush in. what i can share with you is,
- they will be able to sleep without the breast.
- they will be begging to sit in the stroller instead of the sling.
- they will be able to sleep by themselves.
- they will sleep through the night.
in their own time. with my son, he did it in his own time. at 2.5 years old, he weaned off the breast completely because i was pregnant and had a massive infection cos he bit my breasts. he saw me in pain and understood that he had to let go. around that time, he slept through the night. he always wanted to be carried in the ergo and refused to sit in the stroller from day one. at 3 years old, he is begging for the stroller :P

with him, there was no training. but we talk about it. and i'd encourage him to try letting go of bfing/ sleep by himself/ using the toilet/ being a big boy...

with my baby now, it's the same. except, im better prepared. im more in tune with her cries. whether it's for help, hunger or other needs. if her cries are non emergency sort, i dun rush in. if im in the midst of something, i just calmly talk to her (hk apts are so small, she can hear!) then go to her, pick her up and she is fine. i feed her on demand when we are out in the day. i just lower the ergo/ baby bjorn, adjust my top, she feeds and i throw over the nursing cover, continue to walk with my son/ do our stuff.

i speak for myself, these are just personal experiences. i dun resent not being able to go out at night. i am happy just being home becos the young ones need me. it's a joint decision with my husband. it realli gives us the support to go on. we watch films, read books, play video games, do our stuff when the children sleep. and are happy like that.

Lali, awesome! i'm followed ur blog now :)
 
Does anyone know if I can get the Dr Sears book in HK? I looked in bookazine & page one but couldn't see any dr sears books. How about Pinky McKay?
 
Thanks Pixelelf :) at some point we're hoping to get an AP group (mums, dads, babies, kids) together.

Ozmerc, some bookstores e.g. dymocks will often order books in, otherwise try paddyfield.com (HK site) or amazon.com

Cheers! :D
 
while i followed some of the AP ideas, i didn't follow them all....and just to let you know, both of my kids know i love them more than anything, that i will always be there for them and that i am an attentive parent.... those qualities are not only found in AP parents.
 
I thought I saw the Sears AP book in Bookazine a couple of months ago?

We're at AP family. We share the family bed with our 3.5 yr old who is still BFing. I very much doubt he will wean before September so I'll be tandem nursing him and his baby brother.
 
Thanks Rani - will order from that website. I think it's cheaper than Amazon too. I've actually never read any AP books but found out about it after I'd already decided that it's principles seemed to make good sense.
 
Thanks for everyone's reassurance. Its always good to talk to people who shares the seam mentality.
Btw, I live in Kowloon and would love to meet up with any of you for a playdate/ coffee date. PM me if you're interested.
=)
 
I agree with carang I was an attachment parent. I had actually no idea there was a name for it it's just what I wanted to do and my baby wanted to do. My LO is 18 months and I still co-sleep, I stopped breast-feeding at 16 months and I have been out past 7 o'clock twice lol and my LO still loves me and knows I'm there for her whenever she needs me :)

Try not to let anyone pressure you into doing something or doing something else whatever parenting style you choose is your decisio. whatever it is you choose someone will always have an opinion about
 
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