Are you generally happy with your helper(s)?

Are you generally happy with your helper(s)?

  • Yes

    Votes: 39 66.1%

  • No

    Votes: 20 33.9%
  • Total voters
    59
what makes up a good helper to me

wanfamily said:
I'm actually v interested reading this thread. I'm on my first helper.(new to all this) We hired her because she seems very honest, has good attitude and seems genuinely caring about our children. Negative side: her cooking ability is poor. (Trying to train her up at the moment and she is trying - but she's having difficulty saying goodbye to all the oil and salt!), she is very forgetful and lacks common sense sometimes. I'm going back to work on a few months and I'm going through the 'ahhh - what to do' phase..Children are the priority, so it it better to ignore the odd frustration with less important things rather than risk getting someone who is less caring about the kids..? I'm intererested to what makes up the 'perfect helper' and how easy they are to come by. My rational at the moment is that you're not going to get a mixture of Mary Poppins and Gordon Ramsey willing to work for a helper's wage????!
Click to expand...

I can see some helpers seem to belong to the in-between category---not bad enough to be terminated; yet much to be desired/improved. As I mentioned rather excitedly in another post, the following are what my helper makes me very happy with her:

1. she has very high standard towards her work, either cleaning, or cooking, or looking after my children; and she herself finds what needs to be cleaned/taken care of;
2. she also plans/prioritises her time to fit in to our routines; everything around the household is well taken care of, yet we don't feel the least bit of her intruding on our privacy;
3. she cooks genuinely restaurant quality foods; but she still studies in her spare time different cookbooks to improve the variety of cuisines; honestly we haven't dined out once since she joined us two and half weeks ago. As Carang once said, it's like dinning out everyday anyway with a good helper---you don't need to cook(the restaurant quality food), nor you need to clean up!
4. she's so skilled at looking after my children: she follows my DD around in the playground to ensure her safety and encourage her to try out new equipments; she cooks and serves the right amount and right variety of foods to both of my kids---it's a combination of meat and veggies...
5. she's honest and grateful---she told me that she should not be entitled to paid statutory holidays within the first three months; when I said to her we will pay, she said 'why Mam? You are too nice to me. I'm very happy working for you already. You don't need to pay. I'm not entitled to that...
6. more importantly, we chat to each other a lot. She talks to me about her family problems, seeking my opinions if she cannot resolve something by herself.

I don't want to sound like I'm over glorifying her, but looks like I really cannot help it...I'd like to say my helper is perfect, but I'd also learned from some ladies here that one can never be too careful...
 
We love our helper but it took us three tries to get it right.

I won't go into why we love her, the usual reasons (makes life a little easier) but I thought I'd share a story a friend told me.

A friend of hers had the same helper for approx 18 years, right from when the first child was born. They loved her and considered her part of the family. Took her on many holidays abroad, trusted her implicitly and looked after her well. In return the helper did a great job. Loved the children, was a great cook, great cleaner etc. When it was time for her to go back to the Phillipines (no need for a helper once all the children were in their teens) the helper asked if she could cook a cake and take it back with her to remind her of all the cakes she'd cooked for the children over the years. Apparently she used to make beautiful, complicated cakes. The employer thought that was so sweet and said of course she could.

When it was time to leave the employer drove the helper to the airport to say goodbye. On the way the helper started having a breakdown saying she'd left the cake at home and they had to go back and get it. The employer said they didn't have time and there was no way she was going all the way back home for a cake. The helper would just have to make one when she got home. After all, she knew the recipe.

The helper was beside herself. Really getting upset, crying etc. But the employer wouldn't budge. She left her at the airport, said goodbye and drove home.

That night the family sat down to dinner and remembered they had a cake to eat for dessert. After a few bites they discovered that the cake was not all it had seemed. The helper had hidden all the wife's jewellery in the cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine that, after 18 years of trusting someone!
 
Hi aussiegal, I'd heard the same story, too --5 years ago! I remember it because a well-meaning colleague told it to me as a "warning" when I first mentioned that we would need to hire full-time help. I wonder how much of that is urban legend, though...
 
Yeah I heard that it happened quite awhile ago. I'm sure it's probably both an urban legend and true story! I've heard lots of stories of jewellery, expensive items etc going missing so it would be quite possible that this has actually happened at some point in time. It's just a really clever way of doing it!

I always try and remind myself that no matter how much I love my helper she does come from a different world to mine with different opportunities and that I should take nothing for given.
 
I always try and remind myself that no matter how much I love my helper she does come from a different world to mine with different opportunities and that I should take nothing for given.
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Amen to that. :)
 
Thanks aussiegal. Sorry I was so shocked that my fingers could not type as fast as usual...I'm speechless after reading this story. I will take this trust thing to a very serious level from now on. Thanks again for this warning.
 
i agree, aussiegal, i believe that your story is much of an urban legend. i've heard it many times in my 14 yrs here. each time the details are slightly different, but essentially it is the same story.
 
Oh my god! oh my god! oh my holy god! I can't bear to finish the clip! I totally feel for the parent and how traumatize and hurt the child is.

When my helper(first one) came 7 months ago, my baby was only 2 months old and i never left her alone with my maid(yes, i was paranoid and hormonal). But over the course of time, we got to know each other, we both aren't perfect, alot of learning, adjusting and communications later...

I'm happy with my helper but i'm not taking chances.. not that i don't trust her nor i think that she would do that but it's for a peace of my mind.

I'll be moving in 1 month time and i'm definitely going to install a surveillance system prior to moving in and let my maid know that it's mainly for me to check on baby because i miss her...

Or does anybody have experiences to share on having surveillance cameras at home? do you inform your helper about it? how do you make it sound less offensive or?

thanks.





anniese said:
Just read this news from the other forum, the maid keep kicking the kid, it's shocking and tears welled up my eyes. Can't believe someone could do that to a small kid.

Maid kicks, kicks and kicks child

WARNING: Video may be disturbing to some viewers.
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I couldn't continue watching even for a few seconds. It's sickening to my stomach and making my blood boil. We really have to be super careful when picking a maid to look after our little precious. And when I go back to work, I will install a computer cam and will let my helper know that I've installed it(to respect her privacy).
 
Cara, read your post under What do you miss about home?, you seem to be super satisfied with your helper. Can you share with us here how good your helper is?
 
1) she disciplines (or tries to) the way i want her to. she uses time-outs and toy confiscation
2) FANTASTIC cook (most of the time! LOL)!!!
3) never complains (at least not to me)
4) have never had problems with debt collectors etc. we told her at the begining that we were not bank machines. that we have our own commitments. she has only ever asked us for an advance once or twice in over 4 years. when she needed money she came to us and asked us for advice on her options. she wasn't looking for a loan, but she recognised that we may have more knowledge in this area than she did and she heeded our advice.
5) she is fairly honest. i'm sure that there are little white lies that i haven't encountered, but nothing major.
6) she has a nice group of friends that all seem to take care of each other (i've met most of them)
7) she truly misses my kids when she hasn't seen them
8) my kids LOVE her to bits
9) she's quite private, but isn't scared to ask to watch american idol with me.
10) she's never given us any major problems etc.
11) she makes my life SOOOOO much easier 95% of the time
12) she has a lovely family and a great husband whom she loves very much (we are trying to hire him, too, but he's been working in Saudi Arabia for years)
13) she works with a goal in mind. she's built a house and put her son through school and now university
14) she's that extra set of hands that almost every mother wishes she had
15) she allows me the freedom to work and to occasionally go out with hubby without worrying how my kids are


ummm... that's all i can come up with from the top of my head, but i'm sure there's more.
 
I truly congratulate you Cara for having such a great help! I just found something that is not making mine a 'perfect' helper(it was wrong for me to have assumed that anyone could be perfect anyway): she breaks things! In less than two months since she joined us, she has broken/damaged:
1. our new ironing board;
2. vacuum cleaner's hose breaking into two pieces;
3. my hubby's cuffslinks after being washed in the washer;
4. one of my daughter's pretty dresses after being in the washer where it should've been handwashed;
5. here is the final straw: she dropped my brand new and very expensive 100ml perfume yesterday on the tiled floor! so now I'm still in deep mourning of my beloved perfume...

What can I do? I cannot dock her pay as she wouldn't have much left if she had to pay for all these. Besides, she is otherwise brilliant still. So I've decided to overlook this 'small' defect of hers...
 
Good on you, HK2008.

Okay, let me see... ours melted the rubber backing of one of our bathroom rugs because she put them in the dryer (!), chipped one of my very expensive wedding plates, managed to break other smaller things over time.

No, I was not thrilled when these happened, but we did not dock her pay, because we believed that she did not do it on purpose. These things happen... either because she didn't know (high temp could melt the rubber, etc.) or because she wasn't careful enough. After all is said and done, the things she broke are but material things and could be replaced. That's how we chose to look at it.
 
Thanks Buckeroo for sharing. Good to know that I'm not the only one feeling a bit upset when seeing our precious things(especially with memory on it) broken into pieces...Anyway I had finally got over my perfume incident and bought myself another bottle!

I did have to have a serious chat with her. While fully understanding errors will occur in the course of any work, I said I would appreciate if she could take extra care when handling fragile and/or expensive items; and spend a few minutes reading and following the instructions of any labels or user manuals. And take time to do things---unlike her ex-employer, I don't time how long she spends on doing the vacuum/cleaning the bathroom etc. Actually I don't really care what she does nor how she does it...as long as the key things are taken care of, I don't want to stress myself out just to watch over her...
 
this is such a refreshing thread especially when you see so many satisfied employer here.

I too have switched from a p/t helper to a f/t one 2.5 months ago. Was a little bit worried about having someone else in the apartment but luckily our helper turned out to fantastic. The only improvement would be her cooking skills but I don't really mind as I enjoyed cooking (as long as someone else is doing the dishes) :)
 
This has been such an interesting thread - thank you for so much insight.

My new f/t helper starts with us next week as baby no.1 is due soon and our local p/t lady, who is absolutely wonderful, does not want a full time position.

The new helper was recommended to us by our friend as they had two helpers (who are sisters), but now that my friend's children are older, they are letting go of one, so we have taken on the one who looked after my friend's youngest boy for the past 12 years. She came with a glowing recommendation although my friend admitted she can be a bit slow at times, but we were happy with her at the interview.

However, my reservations have since crept in as when we were sorting out her return airfare, she lied to me and told me the fare she quoted was a one way ticket rather than a return, so she had wanted me to pay the entire amount rather than split it with her previous employer. Of course, I spotted this immediately and she was unable to give me an explanation.

But given she came with such good references from a friend, at the time, I thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt, however, most of my friends are saying I should have just let her go there and then.....so I am now getting very worried as I feel like the trust has already gone even though she has not even started with us. My husband has said to give her a chance on the basis she was caught out immediately so it is unlikely she will try again and we have put measures in place so that all valuables are lock in a safe and there is no loose change/valuables lying around.

I am just wondering now whether I have done the right thing and whether anyone has had a similar experience?
 
Truly interesting. This is my first helper. While this may be natural for all of you, I am finding it a struggle to delegate the baby sitting to my helper. But care to share how you plan your helper's daily schedule? I have a 7 month old baby and have been taking care of my baby 100% of the time.

I do not know how I can delegate the babysitting to the helper since she's either out doing groceries, cleaning, vacuuming, mopping or cooking. How do you ladies ensure that the helper is clean when she's handling the baby? I mean there close contact with the baby, and I would not want cooking stains etc to get on my baby.

The level of cleanliness is something that I expect even from myself.

Any advise? Do you ask the helper to bathe everytime she has to handle the baby? Any tips are appreciated.
 
Re. cleanliness, I make sure there is always handwash in the kitchen and bathrooms and if me or my helper has been cleaning with detergents, outside walking the dog or cleaning, we gave our hands a very quick wash before taking the babies. We were all more vigilant when they were really small, now the youngest is 5 months we are relaxed. I also provided them with disinfectant foam for when they come in from outside (which is more important to me).

Re scheduling, if she needs to take the baby for any reason the cleaning or food preparation just waits.

Also she plans her day (walking the dog, groceries etc.) around when she needs babysit - I just let her know when I will be going out. I also plan around when she will be actually cooking. She usually cooks during the babies naps and we reheat after the kids are down in bed as early evening is hectic with kids eating, baths and bedtime routines etc.
 
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