Any suggestions on...

H

hannah.e.law

Registered User
how to handle going back to work? Looking for input on my situation, or maybe your story about how you handled it?

In an ideal world, I'd be a stay-at-home mom, but my husband's salary is not 100% guaranteed in this economy. It's still early for me to be thinking about going back to work, as my baby isn't due until May, but I'm beginning to think about it all the same.

Right now my plan is I'm "self-employed" as a private tutor going to student's homes. My plan, as of now, is to take three months "maternity leave" and then get back into the swing of things come August. Two problems with this:

1) We don't currently have a helper (except for a lady who comes to clean 4 hours a week) and we don't have room for a full-time helper to live here, so hiring a full-time nanny/helper isn't an option.

2) I REALLY want to breastfeed exclusively until my baby is weaned. This is very important to me.

I've thought about setting up tuition out of my home on a more permanent basis (I currently have a few students who prefer to come to me, which has worked out nicely as our living room is quite spacious). This would mean, although I would still have to hire someone to help care for the baby (and possibly do housework) when I am busy with students, I would be able to breastfeed and be the main care-taker and schedule students during other times, instead of spending a good part of my day traveling around.

Can any of you kind, more experienced ladies poke holes in this plan? Any suggestions on a better plan?

I'm really starting to be concerned and would appreciate any insights you can provide!

Hannah
 
I know alot of people with live out helpers so that may be something you could consider. Sounds like a good plan to me so best of luck!
 
i faced exactly the same dilemma 2 years ago.

first...
it is possible for people to come to you, but keep in mind how conservative many parents in hk are and they are quite likely to be very uncomfortable with you breastfeeding if necessary during a lesson, not to mention the fact that if you are doing this, then you are not doing what they are paying you for. they may start to feel that they are being taken advantage of.

what worked for me(although we had a full time helper) was to schedule my lessons one after the other, dropping those that were inflexible. i then took a pump with me and a small cooler box. that way, i could save my milk, my baby was still getting breastmilk, i was still getting my lessons taught. i did have to schedule time in the schedule, either at the beginning of hte lesson or after to do the pumping. i sometimes used the students' bathrooms or used the bedroom and closed the door.

i was able to keep this up until my baby turned 6months. after that, it was just too difficult to continue.

putput... most live-out helpers are illegal, at least the ones on FDH contracts.

when i went back, i started one day per week. this was when the baby was about 4 weeks old or so. then gradually went up to 2 days, then 3 days etc. i found that i preferred to teach a full day rather than two 1/2 days. that way it was all over with at once.
 
Thanks for your input Carang. I'm planning on going back to the States for a month in July for a wedding and to introduce baby to his grandparents, so I wouldn't be starting working again until August, with the baby being born at the end of May. Do you mind if I ask why it became too difficult after 6 months?

About the helper, yes, I was aware that having a helper not live-in is illegal, unless they are local or hear on some other type of visa. I may end up hiring a local as a result, which is fine by me, if it meets our needs.
 
Hi Hannah, I would definitely recommend looking into hiring a legal live out helper. They do exist although it might take some work to find one!

Regarding the breastfeeding, I know a quite a few mums who have managed to continue breastfeeding after they were back at work. Basically, I think a common way to do it is for mum to give the breast feed in the morning and evening. Then mum pumps during the day and saves the milk in the fridge. During the day the helper or nanny gives the baby the breast milk that the mum pumped the previous day. Of course, this all depends upon your working hours but if you had students coming at scheduled times you should be able to get this to work.

Trying to schedule your lessons so that you can give all of the feeds yourself would be difficult as babies are unpredictable little creatures and sometimes they want extra feeds or extra time on the breast or sleep for longer than you anticipate (so feed later). You will need to see what kind of baby you have - some are really amenable to routine and other are not.
 
it became difficult as i got busier. i just didn't have time to stop the car to pump and i ran out of milk in the freezer. i continued a nightly breastfeed before bedtime. i didn't want to give up bf as i really enjoyed it and NEVER had a problem with it.

it was just too difficult and cumbersome to carry the freezer pack, the pump etc with me to all of my classes.


a strong word of warning though.... it will be VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY tiring if you are teaching AND trying to bf exclusively, ESPECIALLY if you don't have a live-in helper that will allow you a few extra hours of sleep when you most need it.
 
I think any helper we get will be part-time live out. Right now most of my lessons are afternoons, so we could probably get away with having someone come to care for the baby from 3:00-7:00 only.

I'm still kind of nervous about the whole pumping issue (I have visualizations of cows being milked, etc.), but I'm sure it's just a matter of getting used to the idea.

Trying to get lessons closer to home is also a long term goal of mine, although I realize I will go where ever I need to to pay the bills.

Thanks for your advice carang!
 
Hi Hannah

Just one thing, babies tend to get cranky, restless and upset late afternoons and evening and all they want is there mum. Especially at night when they have their dinner and are being put down to sleep for the evening. If you find that your baby is like this you might want to consider rearranging your lessons for mornings, if your able to.

I had the same visualisations of cows being milked too!! LOL
 
you can't re-arrange lessons for morning as most people having private tutors have children that are in school all day. 3-8pm is PRIME TIME!

hannah, if you ever want to chat, please feel free to pm me... we can talk by phone if you like.
 
Hi Hannah,

I went back to full-time work (I'm a teacher) when my son was 9 weeks old. He is BFing about 7-8x a day, and he's just on 13mnths. It is definitely manageable. It's busy and tiring (I don't have a helper, not that a helper could help much overnight anyway when baby wants boobie ;-) )but rewarding if BFing is a personal goal for you. I pump twice a day and nurse in my lunchbreak.

Like PP mentioned, afternoons and early evenings are classic fussy and cluster feeding times, so try to be home then.
 
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