Amused on Dragon Boat Day.

S

spockey

Registered User
My darling hubby, for the first time, took our son to his "Tambourine" class yesterday. It's 45 minutes of singing and dancing... a little like Kindermusik. My domestic helper and I were tickled pink as after just one play session with the bub... he came home, told us that he needed to have a nap as he was exhausted!

We do this everyday, work (if you are working), start a second shift with baby when you return, third shift with hubby, maintain friendships, manage a domestic helper/our household on top of our own personal commitments to self improvement... at very few stage(s) do we get to stop and think about us.

This is NOT about man bashing or whinging about my hubby (Bless his heart as he does pay for me to treat myself when I can find the time!)... but it just made me realize and stop and think about how strong we all are... all of us manage miles away from our "village that it takes to raise a child".

I say "Hooray!" to us women, our mothers and their mothers! We deserve to pat ourselves on our backs at the end of everyday.... not just on Mother's Day!
 
hear hear. When my hubby looks after our 2 year old (which he does alot as I had difficult pregnancy and now we have newborn twins), he always says "i don't know how you do it".....which is great that he recognises how hard it is, but doesn't make me less exhausted!

am lookin forward to that first post-partum massage!!
 
one weekend my hubby took our 2 yo daughter out with the nanny. then we all went for lunch & some activity in the afternoon. when we arrived home, after he's parked the car, he said "whew! that was exhausting... but you do this everyday, don't you?", and i just smiled. it's nice for them to appreciate us moms.
 
Tell me about it. Men, even the most well meaning, caring have got no real clue about what it takes to raise a child day in day out. They get exhausted after a few hours looking after a child and you hear about it for ages. I laugh at my husband and ask him when he's going to start working at home like me so he can get a real taste of raising (now) two children and running a business externally (back in Oz) from home. Yeah right! And don't get me started about them pretending to know what we go through when we get pregnant, physically have the baby (all those eyes looking at our privates) and have to get a handle on breastfeeding etc afterwards all whilst trying to deal with the changes that have happened to us emotionally and physically during the previous 9 months. Oh... and then we get our period again! I always joke that next time I am coming back as a man...
 
I'm coming back as a house cat. Hopefully a ragdoll. I reckon our cat gets the best out of our life here in HK!:yeah2
 
yeah, plus dealing with those in-laws & who-else telling you there's NO POINT in breastfeeding cos "you were fed-formula & see how healthy you are now" speech....
 
My mother in law was just like that. Loved that I couldn't breastfeed the first one as she didn't. She won't be happy that second time round it's working out.

When i was pregnant she kept asking me to send photos of me to them. I'm 99% sure it's because she wants me to turn out fat like she did so her excuse of 'i've had two kids' holds up. Ah, no- you're overweight because you eat too much and don't exercise! Ooh, I'm mean!
 
my mum's the same! she keeps saying "oh, I would switch to formula if i were you" because she did. Her most classic comment though was when I was making puree for my then 6-month old at her house and she said "takes a lot of effort this cooking doesn't it, I don't know why you don't give him proper food from a jar"!!!! how funny is that??

Thing is, I have to be careful how I respond because I don't want to criticize how she raised us.....after all, I think I turned out OK!! I just say something like "well, while I'm not working and I've got the time..." etc
 
It was such warnings from friends about MIL and good intentioned relatives that I had barred anyone from visiting after birth until I was good and ready. It was nice to be on my own (albeit a little daunting in the beginning) to deal with bub. It was just my rules to contend with.
 
well i was having bfing problems for 5 mths, not possible to not let the grandparents see their 1st grandchild for 4 mths..... =( wish i could, though. my mom still says that my daughter's nose is flat cos i was breastfeeding her for too long (???!!!) aren't breasts supposed to be softer than plastic nipples? and she forgot we're chinese??? i mean, they just blab out whatever comes into mind to stop you from breastfeeding!!
 
I must say problems arise not just with MILs. My mother was difficult too! I couldn't breastfeed (not by choice). And my lovely mother... told me that my son and I would not be close as a result. When you've been told for 9 months what a horrible thing it not to breastfeed, you feel low enough not being able to do it. Add that remark on... I reckon I hit a new rock bottom at that time.... as the burden of guilt infiltrated my heart and mind.
 
ELT i agree but for us I'm happy that both our families live far away not just the in laws. We all get along much better over the phone. We've got them both coming over at the same time in a few weeks and we're dreading it. The men are always fine, it's just the women that wreak havoc. Older women seem to love to undermine us younger mums. I pray that I don't become like that. God forbid that my boys ever dread me coming to see them!

Us new mums have to remember that anything our mothers or mothers in law say that is a criticism generally stems from their own insecurities and has nothing to do with us. It's frustrating though.
 
So glad that I'm not the only one. I am always trying to bite my tongue re. MIL (not really fair on my husband to listen to my constant moans about his mother). Not that I'm glad that you all have to suffer too, but at least I don't feel like a total b***h. Mine thinks that BF is something that I try to do because it's 'fashionable' (mmmm....the glamour of huge bras, breast pads and leak marks....) and to limit the bonding that my husband and other family members can do with the baby. Fortunately, he thinks she's barking mad.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top