Advice on having other children with you when n labour at matilda

T

Tasha2303

Registered User
Hi,

I am about to give birth any day now and myself and my husband are a bit worried what we will do with our other two children.
Our eldest is 11 and youngest is 14 months. Our helper will not be starting until after the baby is born and all our friends have children so if is the middle of the night they can't help.
Has anyone given birth at Matilda and had there other children there? I really want my children to be with me until the pushing part but worried there won't be anywhere for them to wait and that my husband will be running back and forth checking on them.
We ideally wanted our helper to start before but she can't and we don't want to loose her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated : )
 
you may want to contact rent-a-mum or something like that.... they can provide babysitters for you. i don't know how it would work or what it would cost if it was a middle of the night situation, though....
 
I don't think Matilda will let anyone apart from the father into the delivery suite - and you'll be there long before you start pushing.

I think you need to make an arrangement with a friend or with rent-a-mum. Surely a friend could come by if it's overnight (as her children will be safe at home with the husband and/or her helper)?

I"m sure you're feeling quite stressed about it. Believe me, I hate leaving my kids behind when I go to give birth (I'm expecting baby 4 in July so I do understand). Best of luck.
 
I would just ask one of your friends - my friend was in a similar situation and I babysat her then 3 year old overnight, even though I have two kids of my own. She had to sleep on mattresses on the floor but it was no big deal - and my friend had no family in HK and no helper so didn't have many choices. Just ask - they can only say no right?
 
If you have a private room, can't they wait for you there and your husband can go back and forth and keep an eye on them?

I had my entire family waiting for me in my room at the Adventist.
 
Thank you everyone.
Yes Honkyblues very stressed out!ha ha
There doesn't seem to be any friends we can ask as some have husbands that work away or that would need to be up early for work so would end up leaving them with 3-4 children.
Rani this is what I was thinking and have actually emailed the midwives to ask. That would be the most ideal option and I'm really pleased to hear Adventist let you. When your paying so much for a hospital I would expect to be able to do this.
With my last baby who I had in the uk, I had hubby, mum, sister and daughter with me until the messy part! It was lovely.
Thanks again everyone : )
 
Other option is for you to negotiate with one of your friends, perhaps one that has more than one helper, for the helper to come over and baby sit for the night, and then your friend can ask her helper if it is okay by them. If this works out it might be nice to give the helper a bit of a bonus to thank her for the inconvenience......
 
If the hospital is not accommodating, this is another option. Similar to rent-a-mum but possibly cheaper. I have not used them to take care of my daughter but have used them numerous times for various reasons and have been very happy. All the ladies that came to help me were very motherly and I would trust them in taking great care of my daughter.

http://www.erb.org/smartliving/en/domestic.php
 
Matilda were no help at all, and said they could not accommodate such a request!? What having two children wait in a private room with my husband keeping an eye on them???
Rent a mum want about $2000 per day plus $500 per night to be on stand by as of course I don't know when we might need them. So not an option.
Rani did you ask Adventist or just turn up with your family?
 
We didn't plan it. It just happened. I was admitted in the hospital in the morning. Everyone was really excited and my parents, sis and niece all arrived at the hospital after lunch. They just waited in my room until baby was born at 6pm. Had a private room and they weren't in anyone's way.
 
Tasha, it might be that if there is another adult who is able to stay ALL THE TIME with the children in your room that the midwives might overlook it (in Rani's case, her parents and sister were there). But if your husband is going to be with you for the actual birth, then the children will be unattended - and that puts the hospital in a tricky position. It's not the midwives' job to babysit your other children, but the hospital would probably be liable if anything happened to them while they were left unsupervised. I can see their point of view, but I know it's frustrating for you.

I suspect that your body will be cooperative and go into labour at an opportune time (e.g., a Saturday morning) so your friends can help out and look after your other children. When I was expecting my second child, I was really fretting about leaving my 21-mth-old at home (especially if it was night time) - but I think my body knew that and I went into labour at 6am, got to the hospital at 8.30am, gave birth at about 10am and sent my husband home in time to give the 21-mth-old lunch (and then bring him in for the afternoon). Similarly with the third child, I wanted my husband to get home in time to give the two older ones their bath and put them to bed. After 10 hours of no progress, my body went from 0-10cm between 3 and 4pm in the afternoon, I pushed the baby out in 20 minutes and my husband got home for the evening routine. Have a stern word with your body about timings and see what happens! ;-)
 
As well as Honkyblues comment about the children being unattended, your room may not be ready until after you deliver depending on how busy the hospital is, and the time of day you deliver. If the private rooms are full you may be put in a shared room anyway so you wouldn't be able to have the kids in there while you delivered.
It is something I am worried about too and haven't come up with any good solutions as I know my child will be distressed being away from both of us for that length of time, but I guess she (and the person looking after her!) will just have to manage.
 
Yes Honkyblues I completely agree and you pretty much said the same as my husband, that it's not the hospitals problem to babysit the kids. I just had it in my head that the kids could just be in our room as my 11 year old is more than able to look after her sister. As Flack quite rightly pointed out my room might not even be ready!
I'm stuck and just haven't a clue what to do. I think the kids are going to end up being with someone they don't know, which makes me feel rubbish.
I wanted a home birth but my hubby wouldn't let me, that would have sorted everything!ha ha
Honkyblues that's so funny your body did as it's told, I really hope mine will be the same. I will def have a word ; )
 
On the maternity floor there are couches near the reception, and chairs outside the private rooms. If you show up with the kids and the room is not ready, they can wait in the common area. Hospital can't really ask you to take them home when you are in labor, right?
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Thank you every one for your help. We now have some friends that will look after our daughters. We have been completely overwhelmed by the amount of offers we have had of help. Lovely to know there are so many nice people around us : )
 
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