adjusting as a stay-home-mom

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purple1

Registered User
How do other stay-home-moms spend their day and stay active physically and intellectually?
I have a one year old baby but being in HK with the luxury of live-in helpers, I sometimes find it hard to kill time. The baby doesn't mind playing the same games or going to the same playground and taking the same walk everyday but I am getting bored. I also wanted to use my brain more -- trying to teach a one year old basic words and color is not very intellectually challenging. And I never enjoyed domestic activities like cooking or knitting. Just want to know how other moms deal with this.
 
A 1YO is pretty easy to take just about anywhere. Why do you play the same games, use the same playground, take the same walk?
What about going to a museum? More intellectual for you and the baby will just like to see the new sights and be with you.
And, if you have a helper, there are an untold number of lessons you could take--language exchanges in many languages (not just the obvious Canto), groups of various types/interests you could join.
And there are only about a zillion playgroup posts on this website.
 
When I used to be nursing the baby, I used to listen to podcasts, which are available in just about every subject of interest. However, I do try not to tune in when he's not nursing/asleep. When playing music with him, I started making up harmonies and changing the keys for fun. My husband actually picked up the guitar, which the children love to strum. There's a very baby-friendly museum called the Stephen Hui Geological Museum at the HKU campus which is open to the public in the afternoons only. There's a rock display area and fake fossils that they can touch. When I find myself home-bound, I play the Nintendo Wii Fit Plus, which is surprisingly baby friendly - they even have a function to let you weight the baby with you. It's great exercise and helps to improve coordination, which even my 4 year old can appreciate. :) Finally, I like to entertain like crazy - especially with a helper who can do the dishes! That way, I get to spend time with friends and our children can be safely entertaining one another in our home. We're going through a parenting workbook with one other couple on alternating Friday nights and conducting music practice with a few other people on the other Friday nights. Hope this helps to generate some ideas!
 
the whole goodness of being able to stay at home, is so that we can have fun looking after our little ones :) in my own experience (i say that because i know flashcards have worked very well for many families) my child remembered and connected better when we are out and about. for example, when we go to a park, i would point out the sky is blue, tree is green, flowers are red etc. he learnt the colors by realli seeing and touching and smelling. so you dun have to be stuck at home "teaching" them stuff. you can do manageable hikes with the baby to reservoirs.

you can set up a reading/craft/painting club for like minded mummies. invite them over with their children. and while the adults share their interest, you can craft a section of time, suitable for the babies to join in. for example, if it's a reading club, each mum can get to storytell a certain child's book every week.

if one doesnt want to meet our people in reality, there's always a virtual set up. blogs! heh heh!

enjoy being a sahm!
 
Thanks didn't know about the HKU museum will check it out. I couldn't think of any child friendly museums in HK! We live in southside and taking 1yr old out means a long and costly taxi ride, which I try to do at least once a week. In our neighborhood there's pretty much just one route to walk around. Beach would be a nice option as weather gets warmer.
Interest group/club...how about non-traditional ones like stock picking, world news discussion, investment clubs? Think anyone would be interested?
 
my kids LOVE going on public transport! why not get on a bus for a ride? that would be an adventure in and of itself. choose a route, get on, go to the end and then get off and find a place for a bite to eat and then go home again.

1 yr olds don't need anything fancy... life is the adventure and showing your little one that there are many things out there to see and do.

today, i've been in bed with a pulled neck muscle and high as a kite on pain meds, but my helpers had to go to the city to pick up an ID card and my new passport. they took my 3 year old with them. the trip consisted of: 1 20-minute minibus, a 2nd 20-min minibus, the MTR to wanchai, then the tram to central, MTR back to hang hau and another 20 minute bus ride to sai kung town. my hubby picked them up there.

my daughter had a blast and was so excited to tell me all of the things she did today!

now, i understand that your little one is only 1 year old. but i did that kind of thing with my two kids (2 yrs apart) all the time when they were little.

it can be tiring, but it can also be a wonderful day out and about with your child.
 
The other day, I was at the Delifrance at Central Library with my 1 year old and she had a marvelous time chasing the sparrows (she calls them "Birms"). It's amazing the things that they love to do at that age. I'm fascinated to watch her discover the world. When we go out, I point out EVERYTHING to her and she is getting to where she repeats just about any word. She is learning a new word every day. Anything is fun for her - she just loves getting out of the house. Even the grocery store is full of new things to see and touch and explore.
 
Thanks for all the ideas. I agree many things can keep baby amused. What about you? How do you keep your own mind sane and what do you do to keep your brain active and challenged?
 
I often do what I want to do, knowing that my daughter will be entertained wherever we are - provided we don't just sit in one boring place for too long!! I read a lot - which is easy to do when she's napping. Every person will have their own things that they like to do, but some things are easier than others. It's easier to go for walks with a baby than to go for bike rides, for example. Reading and other inside things are pretty easy - hunting, for example, is much more difficult.

Maybe you could write down a list of things that you would like to do and try a few of them to see how your baby handles them. I know that my girl is very flexible and will go along with whatever I'm doing - and the only restriction is that she NEEDS a nap in the day. If I'm out all day, she tends to get maybe a 1 hour sleep in the pram - but if I'm home for her nap, she can sleep for more like 2-3 hours. So I try to be home for her nap, if not EVERY day, then at least every 2nd day.

I know personally, the only thing that I really miss is having a bit more alone time. I miss being able to spend an hour in the kitchen and not worrying about my daughter who is ALWAYS the crankiest that one hour before dinner. I'd love to be able to "wander" a bit more when I'm out - but she tends to get impatient after a while. There are some things that I have to let go of for now and know that when she's older, it will be easier. Or if/when we get a helper...
 
Beside my son's activities, I try to meet my friends (all mums) at least once a week and we talk about anything but babies... also I read Internet news and newspapers everyday, any kind, to stay informed of what is going on in the world and in the city. I take some sewing lessons, do some photography, and keep in touch with my friends, by email, postcards, birthday cards etc... and it's already quite a lot of work !:D
 
I have the perfect solution - have another baby!! ha ha. I used to get bored at home with my baby. I was very lucky that he was very settled, slept a lot, was a great eater and almost never cried. Then I got pregnant and now I have a very very active and challenging 26 month old and an 8 month old who is much more demanding that my first baby. I am certainly not bored now!!

On the topic of intellectual pursuits (ie how to keep that part of your brain that isn't used for making puree and pram pushing from going rusty) I watch Bloomberg, read a lot of non fiction (most historical stuff) and try to read the FT from cover to cover at least once a week. I am reading a really interesting book at the moment called "The Penguin Book of 20th Century Speeches". A lot of the speeches have a political bent and are really interesting to read with the benefit of hindsight.
 
purple1 said:
Thanks for all the ideas. I agree many things can keep baby amused. What about you? How do you keep your own mind sane and what do you do to keep your brain active and challenged?
Click to expand...

i think i get the sense where you are coming from and i also sense that the answers so far are not really satisfying as they still typically related to mom (as opposed to to generic women or men's intellectual pursuits). from a men's perspective, here's my suggestions:

- get active in a chamber of commerce (they usually have many different activities including investment clubs, interesting speakers, etc.)
- get active in your school's alumni club (same as above)
- study a field you always wanted (e.g. chinese history) but do it thoroughly as a researcher, not just reading a few non-fictional books
- put aside a pot of money and start stock-picking yourself. unfortunately home traders tend to be loners...but you could initiate something through the chamber or alumni clubs mentioned above
- run a little internet side business (import/export from/to your home country). assuming you are an expat this could be easier and can be done from home
- seriously consider going back to work
 
I found that becoming a sahm was definitely an adjustment. And even though I'm never really bored--we don't have a helper--I do find often that I need more intellectual stimulation. I listen to a lot of podcasts, as someone said earlier, and read the NYTimes online everyday (naptime). I'm a freelance writer, so each evening after son goes to bed I write, and I started taking a grad class this semester too, just to keep my brain active. I used to be in a book club that WASN'T moms, so no chance of devolving into child-related conversation! Also, I've started knitting since staying at home, and it's great to do when my son is awake--keeps me from feeling like I have to jump up and down and entertain him every second. :) I know you said you aren't a crafty person, but maybe there is some hobby (music?) that's not online that you could do during the day with your baby around? I think it's good for them to see us interested and active in our own things, and they are often so curious about it! Good luck. It's a great privilege to be at home, but can be challenging. Lots of women go back to work when they reach this point, at least part-time, and that's always an option too ...
 
Hi there,
When I first came to HK, I was often feeling bored, and empty. Then I quickly figured out that I need to make the best use of my time(it's such a luxury to have so much time on hands with a great live-in help). I'd go to gym in the morning for two hours; then study Cantonese for 3-4 hours a day; go have a coffee with friends(that I made here) 2-3 times a week; then go shopping 2-3 times a week...Of course I also spent time with my kids(play together, education programe etc). I felt much better when I made some acheivement on a daily basis. Invest time/efforts on your health; and on keeping your brain active, etc.
However, a greater acheivement came when I finally found my job about 5 months ago. I have to say nothing stimulates you more than having a job!(unless you can truly enjoy being a SAHM).
:Butbut I am really sick of the long hours at work and having to drag myself out of bed each and every morning. Now I'm very confused---I don't know what I want any more!
Hope you can make the best out of what you've got and be sure of yourself everyday:)
 
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