ADHD - help! Need infos.

[Valencia]

About ADHD

Hi, Sagacity,

Thanks for your explanation on ADHD. However, I've always had doubts about this term. My brother and I were hyperactive when we were children, and so is my daughter. I see hyperactivity as a healthy sign. I see hyperactivity as a disease unaccepted by our modern civilised world. As for attention deficit, it is a problem in terms of education. As long as the children are obedient and quiet at school, no one will suspect them of ADHD, even if they do poorly in exams. For those who are both disruptive and poor in exams, people have a term to blame. If a child is hyperactive, why not train him to be an athlete instead of asking him to sit still? If a child can't sit still, I'll blame the school syllabus and the teacher instead of ADHD, especially in HK!

 

[loupou]

Hi Valencia,

It sounds to me as though your daughter is a normal little girl of 4, who is on the lively & talkative side. My advice would be to be sure she gets plenty of outdoor exercise and stuff to do w/ her hands at home.

My son (now 7) tends to fidget w/ his hands. When he was younger I gave him little pots of play-do to play with at home and on the road.

He and my older girl also like playing with Duplo & Lego and sewing and stitching. IMHO, many children aren't meant to sit quietly in small flats, they need to use their bodies for both small motor activity and large.

Even things like rinsing the rice can be an enjoyable and calming actvity for small ones.

 

[Valencia]

Totally agree, Loupou. As for the hand fidgeting matter, when I am tutoring my students one-to-one, most of them are playing with their pencils and rubbers and moving or rocking with their chairs, even though they are paying attention.

 

[Sagacity]

Loving mom

Hi Valencia,

I can see that your daughter is raised in a family with love and understanding. I'm so happy for your daughter having a new and caring teacher this year. You've done a good job not accepting the "offer" to let your daughter repeat K1. To me, children are blessings from God. I teach Bible studies to children from 2 to 6 and this is the most extraordinary job I've ever done in my life. Yesterday, a new boy came to my class and I greeted him saying "Welcome, Caleb". But his reply was "I'm not Caleb. I am Super Caleb!!" See how lovely they are. :lovedface

Hi, Sagacity,

Thank you very much for your care. You're right. Every time she had an exam I was freaking out. She couldn't recognise the alphabet and the Chinese characters, she couldn't write. What could I do? She's only 3! When my daughter was invited to repeat K1, my response was NO. I don't want her to be bored by repeating the same things all over again. My decision is proved right. She is doing fine this year. I was talking to my husband if she had repeated this year, what would have happened to her, wasting her time with an inexperienced teacher? Her class teacher is just GREAT this year, experienced and patient. I see the difference right in the second week of the new semester. A good teacher makes all the difference.

I suspect one of the reasons for their asking her to repeat is their lack of new students. The principal told me another child in her class was invited to repeat because he did not like writing (Ridiculous!).

In the good old days, I went to kindergarten at four and learned the alphabet at five. My daughter is outdoing me and I'm very satisfied. I've been a private tutor for many years and it's sad to see parents pushing their children so hard.

 

[Sagacity]

About ADHD

Hi Valencia,

Yeah, we people are hopeless, especially those professionals, as we enjoy labelling so much. ADHD is a label, so as Depressive Disorder, etc. Professionals like doctors and psychologists are meant to treat people. So, if we don't label, we don't know what to do with other people's lives. But the truth is, we know little about our psychological system. Mental and developmental issues, to most of the extent, are still mysteries. We psychologists are just trying our best to have the best guess.

My sons are very good at sports. Guess they have inherited my athlete genes. My academic performance wasn't good at all. But I'm persuing a Master degree in psychology and hopefully PhD in clinical psy in the future. It's not because I'm smart that I go for a PhD. There's another quality in my personality to keep me going: persistent. And the most important thing is my mom never ever hinders me to follow my interests or chooses my life paths for me. That's my baseline to raise my sons.

I really enjoy talking to you all. :missingto

Hi, Sagacity,

Thanks for your explanation on ADHD. However, I've always had doubts about this term. My brother and I were hyperactive when we were children, and so is my daughter. I see hyperactivity as a healthy sign. I see hyperactivity as a disease unaccepted by our modern civilised world. As for attention deficit, it is a problem in terms of education. As long as the children are obedient and quiet at school, no one will suspect them of ADHD, even if they do poorly in exams. For those who are both disruptive and poor in exams, people have a term to blame. If a child is hyperactive, why not train him to be an athlete instead of asking him to sit still? If a child can't sit still, I'll blame the school syllabus and the teacher instead of ADHD, especially in HK!

 

[Valencia]

About Labelling

Hi, Sagacity,

Nice to talk to you. I can see you are an understanding mom. I am blushing since you called me a loving mom. :missingto

No offence to the professionals. My objection to labelling is the consequences if misused by laymen, e.g. paediatricians, educators and parents. Parents used to think their children were naughty or stupid, if they are diagnosed with ADHD then they can blame it's a medical condition and can look for a cure. I am just worried with the misdiagnoses with normal children, and the worries they bring to their parents.

I just wish we had more better educators and better systems.

Good luck to your studies!

Glad to talk to everybody. :missingto

 

[barbwong_130]

Have you heard of the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator? It is a personality test used widely to help with team building and personal growth in the work place. It splits everyone into 16 different personality types.

There is a theory that ADAH and ADD are more common amongst certain types although some research I?ve read says ADD/ADHD/LD seems to occur in all MBTI types, certain preferences exacerbate the problem. I also think that certain types as children are more likely to be considered a ?problem child? especially with the child expectations we have in our culture here in Hong Kong.

There is a nice introductory article, MBTI Temperament and ADD at http://borntoexplore.org/addtemp.htm

If you are interested to learn more about this I run a workshop called Mothering Styles which will help you discover your own type (this is a necessary first step to understanding your children?s types) and how that affects the way you mother your children.

I found the book Nurture by Nature by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, http://www.personalitytype.com/nbn/index.html very useful in understanding type in children.

And also the book Do What You Are by the some people, http://www.personalitytype.com/dwya/index.html Although this book talks about careers I was really worried about my son, who is now 15, because he always leaves everything until the last moment and then usually runs out of time to do it. This book allowed me to see that the traits I worry about in him are exactly the same traits that are going to earn him his salary when he is working.

Best wishes,
SARAH
2548-7636
[email protected]

 

[Sagacity]

Personality

Psychologists are still trying hard to pull everything together to understand human personality. Sorry to say it, but classifying people in personality types is a bit out-dated. (BTW, its another type of labelling. ) Today, the best model is the Control Theory by Carver and Scheier. Those personality traits just reveal the possibility or tendency of our behaviour. There are more factors to be considered, like situations and circumstances. We do behave differently in front of different people and in different situations and circumstances. And we learn too. Our ways of thinking and behaviour can change over time. Well... psychologists still do not have much of a clue how our personality is developed. It's still quite a messy field.

Yet, please do not be discouraged if you love the personality tests. I love that too. Knowing some of other people's personality traits help us a lot from a social perspective. Just please do not treat those classifications as blueprints of human personality. Afterall, these are all theories and we do not have a clue whether that's a truth or not. According to my professor, the best theory is the one which can help you ask the right question.

Have you heard of the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator? It is a personality test used widely to help with team building and personal growth in the work place. It splits everyone into 16 different personality types.

There is a theory that ADAH and ADD are more common amongst certain types although some research I?ve read says ADD/ADHD/LD seems to occur in all MBTI types, certain preferences exacerbate the problem. I also think that certain types as children are more likely to be considered a ?problem child? especially with the child expectations we have in our culture here in Hong Kong.

There is a nice introductory article, MBTI Temperament and ADD at http://borntoexplore.org/addtemp.htm

If you are interested to learn more about this I run a workshop called Mothering Styles which will help you discover your own type (this is a necessary first step to understanding your children?s types) and how that affects the way you mother your children.

I found the book Nurture by Nature by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, http://www.personalitytype.com/nbn/index.html very useful in understanding type in children.

And also the book Do What You Are by the some people, http://www.personalitytype.com/dwya/index.html Although this book talks about careers I was really worried about my son, who is now 15, because he always leaves everything until the last moment and then usually runs out of time to do it. This book allowed me to see that the traits I worry about in him are exactly the same traits that are going to earn him his salary when he is working.

Best wishes,
SARAH
2548-7636
[email protected]

 

[Sagacity]

More about labelling

Hi Valencia,

Thank you for your compliment.

Well, I think even professionals are sometimes hopeless on labelling and... I'm trying to be one of them.

Hi, Sagacity,

Nice to talk to you. I can see you are an understanding mom. I am blushing since you called me a loving mom. :missingto

No offence to the professionals. My objection to labelling is the consequences if misused by laymen, e.g. paediatricians, educators and parents. Parents used to think their children were naughty or stupid, if they are diagnosed with ADHD then they can blame it's a medical condition and can look for a cure. I am just worried with the misdiagnoses with normal children, and the worries they bring to their parents.

I just wish we had more better educators and better systems.

Good luck to your studies!

Glad to talk to everybody. :missingto

 

[ADHD Adult]

Recommended psychologist

Hi,

I am actually surprised that you were able to get your child tested at such a young age. Normally testing will only begin at ages 5-6 as this is when ADHD symptoms start to show because more is expected of a child of this age.

I can recommend a psychologist who specialises in ADHD both for adults and children. Her name is Jadis Blurton and she has a practice in LKF (Therapy Associates Limited). Her website is www.talhk.com. She does a thourough exam/test with the child to diagnose the problem.

I would also recommend to get several evaluations to be sure that the diagnosis is 100% correct.

I hope this helps.