14 Month Old Throwing Food

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dhirsh

Registered User
I need some advice. My 14 month old eats pretty well, somedays better then other days. He eats with his hands as a spoon will immediatly fly to the floor. He eats for a while and then starts throwing his food to the dog. I try to give him a little more food, but most of the time he throws that down as well. I have begun to take this as a sign that he is done and I give him his dessert, his fruit, which he finishes without the dogs help.

I know this is a common problem and I want to know what you all do. Would you still give him his fruit? How do I teach him not to throw his food? I've read to teach him to say done instead of throwing, but he's not even saying mamma or dadda and associtaing it with us yet. Another web site says to have him pick up the food after he has thrown it and throw it in the trash. I believe this might become a game instead of a lesson, and more importantly I don't think he's at a stage where he can do that.

I am finding this a difficult age- communication wise.
 
we just said "no" sternly the first time. then took the food away the next time.

we did not give dessert, and we still don't, unless lunch etc is finished. as they get older, they get wiser and will do anything to get the "yummy" and not finish the other.
 
But it is a fine line. Eating should be a little bit of a fun time, otherwise the kids grow up hating the idea of family meals.
 
We're similar to carang. We do not allow throwing of food or spitting of food. We firmly believe that what we allow is what we are teaching our son to do and even though he's not 2-years-old yet, we believe in good manners and its easier to teach good manners from the beginning than to correct bad ones later--that's our view.

We do allow our son to play with his food a bit--he can pick it up and play with it a bit but when he stops eating it and only playing with it, to us that's a sign that he is full and meal-time is over. We don't make a fuss about it. We just clear the food away, clean our son up and let him go play. Eventually children get hungry enough that they eat and if they miss a good meal it's not going to harm them--they'll eventually make it up later.

We don't have a dog but I wonder if a dog could also be a distraction while your son is trying to eat. Our son eats well but he has a problem if there is too much excitement or other interesting things going on around him at meal time. For this reason we minimize things that would be distracting so he can focus on eating. At 14-months your son is probably still very interested in the "cause and effect" of things--so when he drops food on the floor and then the dog comes and eats it--that in itself is probably a fun game. If I were you, I would put the dog in the other room or keep the dog out of sight while your son is eating and see how things go then. My son doesn't get dessert if he doesn't eat his food. At 14-months, whether children are verbalizing or not, they understand very well a stern "no" so it's not too soon to start using it.
 
sleuth wouldn't like our house very much as i agree that it is never too early to start teaching good manners.

spitting, throwing, playing with toys are not allowed at our house. we use the time to talk to each other about our day etc. depending on the time of dinner (it varies from day to day for us), we sometimes allow the kids favourite tv show to play while dinner is being eaten.

to me, dinner is not about "fun". it is about nutrition and communicating with the family. (which i guess could be fun?)

personally, i love to eat in restaurants. i have NEVER been one not to go out because we have kids. i'm not fussy if a place is too "kid friendly" as i expect my children to act a certain way. if they don't know their manners going in, it is much more difficult to teach at 2 or 3 years of age.

of course, my children are not saints and they have good days and bad days. my daughter recently (about 4 months ago) went through a spitting food out stage. during that time, we didn't go out at all. we told her firmly, "no" and took her food away when she did it. it didn't take long for her to learn the consequences of her behaviour and she quickly modified it so she could finish her dinner.
 
Agree that it's never too early to teach manners.
I've never tolerated spitting or throwing food, and I must admit, a bit too harshly, it's a fine line even with playing with food.

As a result, my 3yr old has table manners, which is very pleasant.

I'm going through the same thing now with my 1 yr old.
Once he starts dropping food on the floor, I know he's lost interest and take the food away.
 
my daughter learned very quickly that i would take the food away. she was abotu 2 years old when she started the behaviour. it only lasted for about 2-4 weeks.

we took the food away. about an hour later, we would offer fruit. that way, the line had been drawn.

however, with my son, we have put him to bed hungry (or so he says). it's only happened once or twice. he's old enough to understand the consequences (4.5)
 
Thank you so much to everyboby for your opinions. It is so interesting to hear different views from people actually facing the same dilemas. I learn a lot from all of you.
 
carang said:
sleuth wouldn't like our house very much as i agree that it is never too early to start teaching good manners.

spitting, throwing, playing with toys are not allowed at our house. we use the time to talk to each other about our day etc. depending on the time of dinner (it varies from day to day for us), we sometimes allow the kids favourite tv show to play while dinner is being eaten.

to me, dinner is not about "fun". it is about nutrition and communicating with the family. (which i guess could be fun?)
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Okay, wrongidea. We don't spit food nor do we play with toys and no TV. However, the eating experience is not like being at a military school either. Again, a fine line and tough to draw and have it apply with every meal.
 
My daughter is 16months and playing with food si the one thing(well there may be one or two others) that I really cant tolerate. She is still not great with using a fork and spoon and therefore using her hands is fine but as soon as she starts picking it up and dropping it over the side of her chair or rubbing it into her clothes she gets one warning (if she is really hungry she will stop playing and start trying to get as much food in her mouth as possible in case it really is removed) and if the warning is ignored she is out of the highchair, food gone asap.

I am paranoid about her going to bed hungry though so Carang said I will offer her fruit a little later.

I really believe she knows full well what she is doing is wrong and therefore I find it important to act
 
Nic said:
My daughter is 16months and playing with food si the one thing(well there may be one or two others) that I really cant tolerate. She is still not great with using a fork and spoon and therefore using her hands is fine but as soon as she starts picking it up and dropping it over the side of her chair or rubbing it into her clothes she gets one warning (if she is really hungry she will stop playing and start trying to get as much food in her mouth as possible in case it really is removed) and if the warning is ignored she is out of the highchair, food gone asap.

I am paranoid about her going to bed hungry though so Carang said I will offer her fruit a little later.

I really believe she knows full well what she is doing is wrong and therefore I find it important to act
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Good for you! I totally agree with this approach, sans one thing, we never offer my son anything different later--if he is still hungry later, he will get a reheated version of the original meal. I don't want him to learn that he can get out of eating dinner and then get a sweet snack later when he's hungry--that comes from my mom--she was like that with us and I think it was a good thing.
 
Does anyone has a solution to this, my daughter spits out fruits anytime they are offered. Banana is the only fruit she loves but everything else I puree and add to her cereal. I've tried being very firm with her but hasn't helper at all. Any ideas???
 
I didn't allow throwing food at all, if you throw told no, and if it happened again, food was gone. I found hunger was not a problem, becasue they only threw the food after they had eaten and they were "playing" rather than eating. I had no problem making a mess and using hands to eat, as long as the food stayed on the tray.
 
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