Crying all the way to work

Gataloca

Gataloca

Registered User
Kind of a pointless thread, but my hubby said last night that he cannot stand my cats anymore. That will send them to SPCA on the weekend. He said he is tired of his cloth covered with cat hair, and don't want cat hair around the baby, when he arrives.

My cats are very dear to me, specially the black girl. I took her from some kids from the neighborhood when she was a kitty, and by that time I was living (and feeling) alone in the US. When I moved to HK to marry my hubby, I was very thankful that he allow me to bring her with me. Now she is almost 10 year old.

I felt so bad, because I have read that in the SPCA, if they cannot re-home your pet in a period of time, they would put it to sleep... Most people don't like black cats, specially would not adopt a 10 year old one. And about the other one, although he is younger (4 year old) and is a handsome Scottish fold, I don't know if it would be easy to be re-homed, as I saw that there are lot of Scottish fold waiting to be re-homed from other shelters....

Anyway, later last night, my hubby apologized and told me to forget what he said. But I know it is not over. It is not the first time he wanted to get rid of the cats. And we are still in a dilemma, as we need to renovate our place to make room for the baby, but he still hasn't started anything because of the cats.

So this morning was crying all the way to work. Just couldn't think of anything else. Eyes are watering, red and swollen, nose are stuffed.... well, at least I can say I got seasonal allergy, if anyone ask....
 
Gataloca

I feel for you. Our cat has travelled across seas with us. And we would never give him away. It's a common joke in our family that he's our first son.

We have been looking to adopt a cat. If you are forced to re-home them, please get in touch with me. Or, try HKAlley Cats instead of SPCA. I think they are more humane.

Cheers!
 
sorry to hear about that, it is rather common in HK, when pet owners are forced to give up their pets due to pressure from their 'well-meaning' friends and relatives. I also have a cat, an exotic short hair, who sheds all the time regardless of seasons, the key to this is constant cleaning of the floors (when I did not have a full time helper, I had a part time helper come in and clean the floors 3 times a week) and contant grooming for the cats. I have not brought my cat to be groomed for the longest time as i was paranoid that he will catch cat flu, but i just brought him last week... and viola! Less shedding! Good luck! I am sure you will be able to work this out.
 
Sorry to hear your delima. Maybe you could try and rehome one of the cats now as you know the issue will come about again. This way you are showing that you are working on the issue. He may be more willing to tolerate 1 cat (I know mine DH is, he hates cats!) than 2.

I know it is a tough choice but this way you can do it yourself instead of sending them to the SPCA where you do not know the outcome.

Advertisie on all the forums you know and include some cute pictures. Put them both up and then keep which ever one can not be rehomed.

Good luck with it.

PS: you may even be able to arrange play dates with the Cat's new home if you do it yourself.

And there is lots of evidence based articles about how a cat and a baby can live together. Google some and leave them lying around the house for DH to skim over.
 
Thanks a lot for your words, ladies.

I have contacted both LAP Lifelong Animal Protection Charity and HK Alleycat, and seems that they both can accept my cats. But still, it is so hard to surrender them... I still don't want to do it.

Quasimother, here is a pic of my 4 year old Scottish fold. He is quite a maniac sometime. He is very sweet, and likes to follow me everywhere sometime, but get easily jealous of my other cat. He would then chase her and bite her hair off (other reason why we have so much cat hair on the floor). He also got a scratching addiction since he developed a bad case of ear mite several years ago. Although we took him to the vet several times, they couldn't find the root of his problem. Now he still scratch his ears, face, neck a lot, which cause lot of shedding (and I have been brushing him everyday and cleaning his ears every week).... I don't know if you would like such a trouble cat.
 

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I feel for you Gataloca as I am facing the similar problem as you, but I guess my situation is a bit better than you because my husband is not 'that' hostile to my cats, although he has expressed strongly his annoyance over everywhere of the cat sand and furs and his worries over the allergies possibly triggered by cats to to our baby son (9 months - he sneezes now and again then my husband blames this on my cats). I have been keeping my two cats for nearly 6 years, before even I met my husband so my stance, on the one hand, is very firm, "I can't remove my cats just because you have entered into my life! Instead you have to learn to adjust yourself...blah blah blah." But on the other than, I know I have to bear with the fact that, I really cannot make someone, who is genuinely not a cat lover to love my cats as much as I do. Of course I am not happy, but I have to find a balance and try to make peace.

Before my son is born, he has no problem with the cats at all, although he is NOT a cat lover but he knows I love them so he cares for them.

We moved into a 3-bedroom flat as soon as our son is born and my cats are now locked in one bedroom which is also a room for my husband's wardrobe and few household items. Me & my husband have reached a so-called 'agreement' - I won't let my cats out whenever he's at home.. he doesn't care if he can't see!

Instead of giving your cats away, do you have a spare room in which you can put your cats there like the situation in my household?
 
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does your husband know that children raised with animals are LESS likely to develop allergies than those NOT raised with them?

(coming from someone who currently has 17 dogs downstairs and 7 rabbits~incl 4 newborn babies...anyone want a rabbit?)
 
Cara, I've given all these information to my husband already!!! If he chooses not to be convinced and believes that my son's sneeze is related to the cats, what else can I say? More arguments because of the cats? He knows I'd be heartbroken if the cats are being sent away (which is one of his biggest wishes!!!) so I must say, he is tolerating me... and I am also tolerating him. Haha...
 
Thanks OX Jess. Actually my hubby is not that "hostile" toward my cats. He does the litter changes, takes them to the vet, orders the cat food, even play with my scottish sometime, when one of the vet said that his problem may be just boredom (he is actually afraid of cats and never pet them though).

He just get so stressed out sometime, specially when he find his clothes covered with white cat hair, or when he thinks about the renovation of our place. We wanted to do that long time ago, and even found temporally places where we could stay. However, later we got rejected because of the cats. That disappointed my hubby a lot. He said that if it weren't because of the cats, we could simply go to a serviced apartment.... We didn't like the idea of putting the cats into a boarding place either.

So in my case, the solution would not be as simple as hiding the cats...
 
OX Jess said:
Cara, I've given all these information to my husband already!!! If he chooses not to be convinced and believes that my son's sneeze is related to the cats, what else can I say? More arguments because of the cats? He knows I'd be heartbroken if the cats are being sent away (which is one of his biggest wishes!!!) so I must say, he is tolerating me... and I am also tolerating him. Haha...
Click to expand...

... Yes, it is like convincing mine that what is sometime on his clothes are dust and small fibers from threads, and not cat hair. He is convinced that there is not such thing as dust in his apartment, because there isn't any construction site near. So all the dirty particles come from the cat and the litter.
 
Yes, my husband also gets so annoyed with the cats fur spreading all over this clothes... What I do is: whenever I spot any of his clothes are full of furs I will remove them with those 'sticker roll' (HK$9.9 each from IKEA - good price!) His another problem with the cats is the noise. As my cats are locked in the room most of the days it is inevitable for them to 'meow meow' out of boredom and simply wanting to come out. Sometimes they make so much noise at night that I have to get up to "Shuuuuuuuh" them. For so many times my husband got woken up in the middle of night and sooooo wound up! That's why I said, We are putting up with each other!!!!!! :))
 
Gataloca, I've spoken to my husband and he's seen the picture. But as adorable and smitten as we are, I'm afraid we can't risk infecting our other cat with a potential mite problem. I'll ask my colleague at work - three of whom are cat fanatics.

Cheer up! I hope you find a workable solution with your husband without having to give them away.
 
Hi..
I believe there are many ways of working round the problem. How about spending more time grooming the cats so they don't shed so much fur? I believe your husband is just frustrated and trying to voice out his emotions.. He must know how much u care about the cats.
Talk to your husband.. I believe he don't really mean giving them away :)

gen

PS babies and cats do live together happily without much medical problem. I have 3 long hair cats (terrible sheds!) and had 2 babies, 1 with milk allergy which triggers skin allergy and slight asthma. Now they are 3 and 4 years old, healthy and loves animals. I find them very compassionate and sensitive to people and animals around them.
 
Thanks ladies for you support. My husband apologized to me the night after, telling me to forget what he said, that he also likes the cats, but was just too frustrated and stressed out with his problem at work, and our current situation at home (baby arrival, home renewal, cat furs, etc.)

My hubby has never been the kind of person that know how to handle problem very well... Mostly he likes to hide from the problem until he has to face it.

Well, I guess my dear cats will continue being with us in the mean time....
 
I am so sorry to hear this but your husband is being completely unreasonable. When you married you had cats and he accepted that. He cannot now threaten to take them away. That is being extremley cruel. If this was me I would have to put my foot down about this. We have 2 cats and 2 kids and no way the cats are going anywhere.
 
starbucks2 said:
I am so sorry to hear this but your husband is being completely unreasonable. When you married you had cats and he accepted that. He cannot now threaten to take them away. That is being extremley cruel. If this was me I would have to put my foot down about this. We have 2 cats and 2 kids and no way the cats are going anywhere.
Click to expand...

what if your marriage really depended only on this issue?
 
Well... I knew my cats would be an issue again sooner or later.... Probably they just have really bad luck, as my 5 month old baby has a bad case of eczema since he was 1 month old. My hubby wanted to get rid of the cats again long time ago because of that, but I kept telling him that we don't know what is causing the ezcema. He use to say that by removing the cats, we could at least remove one possible source of the ezcema.

Today this issue came back again, as my baby ezcema hasn't improved at all. His skin is rough dry, besides all the creams, and with rashes all over. Actually he looks like a lobster.

I probably should let the cats go. And telling the truth, I don't have time for them as taking care of the baby does keep me busy all day. Probably will be the best for all of us. At the end, the cats also deserve to be with someone who can give them attention and love....
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Quite honestly with bad skin issues an animal would have been the first thing I took out of my household as there is a large possibility that allergy attacks are caused by pet hairs.
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Yes, I know... It is probably just me being stubborn. My dad has gotten rid of our family pets when we were kids, and I promised myself that I would not let that happen when I grow up. So when I got this cats I really made a commitment about taking care of them.... Of course, that was before we even considered having a baby.

Now I am a situation that is really bad for all of us... My baby with bad skin, and I being blame for not getting rid of the cats. My Scottish fold cries every night for the attention that I cannot him him. ... But I really feel sad for my black cat, cause she has made me company since I was working and living alone in the US. It has been 10 years already. I always tell my hubby that she is old and should be retiring... Getting rid of he now make me feel like a very bad person...
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