What is wrong with people here?

Yes agree mummymoo.. Most times helpers with their employer's child they helped me with the door!! So I really hope the children here pick up good habits from the helpers!!! N their parents may pick up from children hahaha.. I know too far fetch. :)
 
oh now i feel bad about my 'pushchair rage' comment! i only do it occasionally when people are really really annoying! But it is so frustrating how people can be so oblivious to others who need help. But like i said, i have noticed an improvement over the past few years, and when i have asked to sit down or asked someone to help me carry the pushchair up stairs, they have always been happy to do so. I think that it just doesn't occur to them, or maybe they worry that that are interfering?
anyway, i agree what other posters said that it is better to rise above it and be a good role model to my children by showing them how to help others.
 
mummymoo said:
some of the rudest (and I'm genuinely surprised by this) people I have met have been long term expats (sorry Cara- I am NOT referring to you). It's like they have taken on Hong Kong characteristics +++. Not all but a few.
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i have my days! LOL!... but mostly, i am the one who stops tourists on the street trying to figure out their maps to see if they need help... or picking up hikers waiting at the bus stop when i know the next bus isn't for another 30 minutes...
 
marie313 said:
oh now i feel bad about my 'pushchair rage' comment! i only do it occasionally when people are really really annoying! But it is so frustrating how people can be so oblivious to others who need help. But like i said, i have noticed an improvement over the past few years, and when i have asked to sit down or asked someone to help me carry the pushchair up stairs, they have always been happy to do so. I think that it just doesn't occur to them, or maybe they worry that that are interfering?
anyway, i agree what other posters said that it is better to rise above it and be a good role model to my children by showing them how to help others.
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Even though I said I try to help others and keep it in focus, I've had my fair share of push chair rage - as has my husband. Particularly when people are so obviously trying to cut in front of me... I can't tell you how many ankles I've bumped, or how many people I've deliberately blocked their path... Whenever I think about it later, I feel a bit embarrassed by my aggression!! But some people here make me mad ;) I'm sure that there are MANY others here who've done the same...
 
I know we shouldn't go on about "back at home" when we all live here now but this issue reminds me of an incident I encountered one morning on a train in Sydney. The line that I take goes through 3 big schools & during peak hour, students do give up their seat. However, that morning, the train driver told off a bunch of students to stand up, offer their seats & show some respect (his words). He obviously saw something he didn't like & announced it on the PA. It is EXPECTED that students offer their seat in public transport but here it seems that kids feel a sense of entitlement.
 
I don't know what the reasons behind it are, but I do agree that there is a distinct lack of civic politeness here.

Like others, it enrages me when I am with my child and I do struggle to keep above it and not sink to the local level. The place I invariably fail at this is on the MTR where incoming travelers do not wait until everyone has alighted. I must admit to using my gweilo size premium and just walking through the most obnoxious violaters of this common courtesy.
 
Nicolejoy your post made me laugh because it is so true. I've been there for sure!!

I remember one time I bumped someone with the stroller by accident when walking in a very crowded area. I try to be very aware of the stroller and knocking people and say sorry if I do but this time I didn't realize I had bumped a woman (she was a local HK person). She stopped and told me how inconsiderate I was. I seriously just about lost the plot. I kept thinking I'm inconsiderate what about the 50 people who just bumped into me, pushed me out of the way, didn't hold the door open for me. I was so angry because I felt like how dare she single me out as inconsiderate in a city that I find incredibly inconsiderate a lot of the time. I think she saw the steam starting to come out of my ears because she quickly walked away. Now I look back on it and see how silly it was a actually how amusing my reaction was but at the time...
 
I had the worst experience with a Filipina maid - I was pushing my stroller on the left side of the travellator between HK and Central station, and she was standing on the right. She decided she wanted to walk and didn't look but just stepped into the side of the stroller, ramming it into the wall. She gave me a dirty look and muttered something to herself and I just lost it - I said "How dare you, I was walking and YOU ran into ME!!" She said "What, do you expect me to look behind before walking??" and I told her "Well, YES" - it was crazy... I just stormed off but she was really itching for a fight and kept shouting at me. My husband was with me and he actually joined in because she was so aggressive. (I feel like I'm at confession here ;) )
 
JoyousBaby it's what we wud say in our sg lingo 'It's like that one lor' Once in a supermarket my toddler was in horizontal position in the sling trying to sleep after a bad tantrum and there's this 30ish guy in walking in my way not giving way at all and was so ready to bang into me if not for the quick shun I managed which almost caused me a fall I was so pissed and wud have $&@ at him if my boy was not trying to sleep I had similar encounters in MTR and lifts just as some members did Kind souls who gave up seats to me or wait for me to get into lifts - mostly foreigners, helpers, elderly women I'm sure not everyone but being rude & inconsiderate seems to be a 'norm' here and I shared same sentiments with a poster above mentioning about something wrong with the heart of the society I find it ironical that locals make such big fuss and go extreme lengths over multiple schools' waiting list to enrol their kids into but some of these output are exactly what we are all talking about here Once I was choosing oranges in a supermarket there were two other local 40ish women just opposite me doing same thing I didn't see what one of them did but her friend commented on her actions 'why did u do that' Seemed like mishandling the oranges somehow And so the other women replied proudly something like 'Well everyone does things for their own interest, to survive, that's life, that's how it SHOULD BE, everyone does things for their own benefits!' And so I begin to see more clearly why the 'norm' around here and guess that's probably something ingrained in some of them...
 
It is a highly competitive society. People are too busy with themselves. I go through all my kids kindy books, they introduce a lot of vocab to the kids but I have yet to come to one story to tell the kids to help others.....or simple manners!! Please and thank you is all they learn....again it is vocab driven rather that simply being nice to others!!! You will learn to accept it when you stay longer. Most people can only afford one child, so it is really difficult to cultivate the sense of "sharing" and "compromise" in children. Digital toys are preferred over simple playdates. Children as young as 2 have to attend interviews to get into schools...... All these add up when they grow to become young adults!!!
 
i will NEVER grow to accept rudeness as a way of life... and i've been here for 17 years... how long do you think one needs to live here before rudeness becomes acceptable?

i also think that one child is not the norm here.
 
meilengyong said:
It is a highly competitive society. People are too busy with themselves. I go through all my kids kindy books, they introduce a lot of vocab to the kids but I have yet to come to one story to tell the kids to help others.....or simple manners!! Please and thank you is all they learn....again it is vocab driven rather that simply being nice to others!!! You will learn to accept it when you stay longer. Most people can only afford one child, so it is really difficult to cultivate the sense of "sharing" and "compromise" in children. Digital toys are preferred over simple playdates. Children as young as 2 have to attend interviews to get into schools...... All these add up when they grow to become young adults!!!
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You may have identified part of the problem. PARENTS aren't doing their job, instilling simple values into their children (you absolutely don't need more than one kid to teach them the importance of respecting others, sharing and compromising). Why should a child have to learn manners from school or a kindy book (that is way to late in life to start!)? My kid isn't even 2 and knows how to say 'please', 'thank you', to let older adults (she calls them 'aunties' walk through a door first and to share toys with other children at playdates and simple compromises like pick up your toys and you can go outside to play. She learns, and will continue to learn, her value system from her parents and those close to her - we won't leave it up to school or anyone else to teach her to be a well behaved human being.

I have been here over 6 years and absolutely do not accept rudeness, nor will any amount of time in HK lead me to tolerate that kind of behavior from my child.
 
Agree with Elle and carang. We have one child, but she has learnt to share and help. She helps me open the door if I am carrying something, she will help be lay the table and clean up after dinner, and sometimes doesn't mind telling daddy also to help if required. It is what and how we teach our children. If sometimes she catches us not saying please or thank you, she tells us that we not being polite.
She has seen us holding the door for other people to pass when we go out or come back home and now she waits for everybody else to pass holding on to the door, and we praise her for that. It depends completely on the parents what attitude we show to our kids and they grow up with the same values.
 
carang said:
i also think that one child is not the norm here.
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The norm is less 1.09 child oer fertile woman (2012 estimate). Of course, there will be a number of woman with zero children and a number with two or more. But, I think it is hard to dispute there are far more one child families here than in most places on earth.

As you can see here, Hong Kong is 220th in a list of 222 countries for "replacement ratio".

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2127rank.html
 
sorry, i'm only going by what i see in my two playgroup centres. there are very few only one child families. i would agree that there are perhaps more here than in "home" countries, but almost every child that comes to us is at least one out of 2...
 
I think after going through SARS, many HK people are very particular about cleanliness. They tried to minimize the need to touch frequently used common things like door handles, lift buttons. So maybe that is why they like to wait for others to open doors for them.
I have my share of 'opening' doors for others while managing a stroller. But I have also experienced on many occasions on mtr and buses where people gave up their seats when they saw that I was carrying a baby.
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carang said:
sorry, i'm only going by what i see in my two playgroup centres. there are very few only one child families. i would agree that there are perhaps more here than in "home" countries, but almost every child that comes to us is at least one out of 2...
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Fortunately, we are able to draw on more comprehensive statistics. From last years census, you can select the 5th link

http://www.census2011.gov.hk/en/main-table.html

Domestic Households by Household Composition, Household Size and Number of Children Aged Under 15 in Household, 2011 (D105)

For 2,368,796 domestic households, we can see

Zero children: 1 767 777
One child: 407 699
Two children: 172 121
Three+ children: 21 199

So, the numbers make it very clear than "one children families" are the overwhelming norm here and approximately two thirds of families with children have a single child.
 
interesting to note... perhaps it has something to do with finances? if they can afford playgroups for their kids, then they can afford more than one...
 
Possibly.. I would think it has a lot to do with education level and household living space. There is a strong inverse correlation between average education levels and average family size.

Plus, when most families live in very small apartments - sometimes with elderly relatives - it must be a disincentive to have more children.
 
Wow I can imagine if we have a gathering we will have so much to talk, laugh n discuss about. How interesting.
Instead of silly advertisement they have on TV, they should have One like, telling people " courtesy is for free, courtesy is for u and me!!" another ad on a "must have" sanitizer with us since they are so afraid getting "GERMS" from door handles, lift buttons!! Hahaha..
To the extend I don't walk behind people and rather open my own door :(
Yesterday this lady was awesome, to my surprised she walked quickly, overtake me n open the door for me, she must be thinking I'm crazy, cos I feel so thankful, told her she is really great, thank her and said she is really kind.. Could be one of I here that had opened the door for me!! (just kidding)
This is what I would do for other people even with a pram I would hold door for another mom with pram or others that need help. Isn't this is a way it should be? Makes everyone happy!!
 
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