Our helper has been with us for a few months now, and we've all settled into a routine....which will be turned upside down when I give birth to twins in a couple of weeks. Does anyone have any advice on how to manage the transition? Ideally i'd like a schedule in place but I really have no idea how it would work...these are our first children.
Helper and newborns
- Thread starter Trying
- Start date
My only advise would not be too adamant about having AND following a strict routine, cause with babies once you think you know their routine, it will change for sure and you will have to rethink the routine. The key is flexibility with kids...I think after their 3rd mth then you can start about thinking of having a routine for them cause they will be drinking more at each meal and you will have longer stretches of time to play around with. I am sure things will eventually into a certain pattern as you take care of them so no need to over think too much. Good luck with everything!
I agree with Leslie. Before our baby was born, my husband highlighted the Gina Ford book of baby schedules, hoping that we'd have the little one whipped into shape right away! As soon as we got her home, we knew it was useless. All babies are different. Ours was small, early and jaundiced -- and had to be fed on demand on doctors orders. If we followed the set schedule -- which has 2-week-old breastfed babies waiting up to 4 hours between feeds! -- our kid would have starved. Now, at 2 months, have Mom and Baby settled into a schedule of our own making -- and she's beginning to sleep through the night! I don't think that would have happened if we had stubbornly stuck to some pre-set plan.
As for the helper -- there are many things you can do before the babies arrive. If I could do it all over again, I'd have done more prep work. I also got a new helper a few months before the baby arrived, and I also thought things were just fine. I underestimated how exhausted and overwhelmed I'd be those first 6 weeks. I also underestimated how much more important it was that she follow instructions on babycare. I don't care if she buys the wrong toothpaste, but I do care alot if she mishandles my child.
Here are things you can do:
* Write up a list of emergency phone numbers, etc., and make sure she understand what to do and who to call in case of fire, illness, etc. Make her repeat it back to you. Does she know how to call for a taxi? Does she have the set numbers programmed into her phone?
* Consider sending her on a baby first aid or CPR course. After the baby is born, you will want her around alot more, and she might not have time. (Consider taking a course like this yourself, too)
* Make sure she knows where you buy baby stuff. I remember -- exhausted, 2 weeks post-partum -- trying to draw a handmade map to show the amah where Bumps to Babes was in Central!
* Have the helper set up the nursery, etc., in advance. Have her pre-wash baby clothes, swaddle cloths, etc.
* If you're using a bottle sterilizer or any other equipment, make sure she knows how to use it first.
Good luck!
As for the helper -- there are many things you can do before the babies arrive. If I could do it all over again, I'd have done more prep work. I also got a new helper a few months before the baby arrived, and I also thought things were just fine. I underestimated how exhausted and overwhelmed I'd be those first 6 weeks. I also underestimated how much more important it was that she follow instructions on babycare. I don't care if she buys the wrong toothpaste, but I do care alot if she mishandles my child.
Here are things you can do:
* Write up a list of emergency phone numbers, etc., and make sure she understand what to do and who to call in case of fire, illness, etc. Make her repeat it back to you. Does she know how to call for a taxi? Does she have the set numbers programmed into her phone?
* Consider sending her on a baby first aid or CPR course. After the baby is born, you will want her around alot more, and she might not have time. (Consider taking a course like this yourself, too)
* Make sure she knows where you buy baby stuff. I remember -- exhausted, 2 weeks post-partum -- trying to draw a handmade map to show the amah where Bumps to Babes was in Central!
* Have the helper set up the nursery, etc., in advance. Have her pre-wash baby clothes, swaddle cloths, etc.
* If you're using a bottle sterilizer or any other equipment, make sure she knows how to use it first.
Good luck!
I think all of what Gracey has said is very important.
I would add that food is important when you're recovering from childbirth. Meaning, you need nutritious, frequent meals and snacks--and definitely if you're going to breastfeed. So, you need to work out the food situation. If she's going to be cooking for you, you should have the menu planned out and the basic staple ingredients bought. I would stock up on things that you will need such as diapers and baby wipes--get at least 2 weeks worth of each so you don't have to send the helper out on unnecessary runs--you want her around to pretty much do whatever you need whenever you need it (i.e. "Can you reach over there and grab this for me?") because you'll soon find you don't have enough hands to do what you need to do.
I would look into shopping online with Park n' Shop (buy $500 HKD and you get free delivery) if you don't already so you can send her on fewer food runs and make it your husband's responsibility to order the food online to take pressure off yourself.
Also, make your priorities clear to your helper. If what she has been doing up until this point is basically cleaning house then she needs to understand that having a spotless house after the babies are born is going to drop down the priority list. So the priorities will be 1. Babies 2. Mother 3. Meals/Food 4. Clean House (of course the father is still a priority--probably fitting right after meals/food).
Even though our helper is awesome sometimes we'll have to remind her about priorities. Sometimes we'll have to tell her, "Stop folding laundry and tend to the 4-year-old." Not that it's an emergency but sometimes she just wants to finish the task she's doing and is really focused on that.
Also, make sure your helper knows about your boundaries. If you are going to be the one who primarily looks after the babies and you prefer that she not be so hands-on with them (meaning, her primary function is to assist you) then you need to make that clear. Several of my friends have had problems with boundaries with their helpers as the helper is eager to jump in and do everything (especially if they have a lot of experience with babies) but the mother would rather the helper just tend to practical things (change diapers, cook food, do laundry, buy baby supplies). One of our friends actually told her helper, "These are my children. I am their mother. Just do the practical things and leave all the parenting duties to me." So, you might not know how you feel about this but it's something to think about--how do you see your role as a parent and how does your helper fit into things?
I would post important numbers several places in the house and make sure she's programmed them into her phone.
Congrats and here's to a great birth!
I would add that food is important when you're recovering from childbirth. Meaning, you need nutritious, frequent meals and snacks--and definitely if you're going to breastfeed. So, you need to work out the food situation. If she's going to be cooking for you, you should have the menu planned out and the basic staple ingredients bought. I would stock up on things that you will need such as diapers and baby wipes--get at least 2 weeks worth of each so you don't have to send the helper out on unnecessary runs--you want her around to pretty much do whatever you need whenever you need it (i.e. "Can you reach over there and grab this for me?") because you'll soon find you don't have enough hands to do what you need to do.
I would look into shopping online with Park n' Shop (buy $500 HKD and you get free delivery) if you don't already so you can send her on fewer food runs and make it your husband's responsibility to order the food online to take pressure off yourself.
Also, make your priorities clear to your helper. If what she has been doing up until this point is basically cleaning house then she needs to understand that having a spotless house after the babies are born is going to drop down the priority list. So the priorities will be 1. Babies 2. Mother 3. Meals/Food 4. Clean House (of course the father is still a priority--probably fitting right after meals/food).
Even though our helper is awesome sometimes we'll have to remind her about priorities. Sometimes we'll have to tell her, "Stop folding laundry and tend to the 4-year-old." Not that it's an emergency but sometimes she just wants to finish the task she's doing and is really focused on that.
Also, make sure your helper knows about your boundaries. If you are going to be the one who primarily looks after the babies and you prefer that she not be so hands-on with them (meaning, her primary function is to assist you) then you need to make that clear. Several of my friends have had problems with boundaries with their helpers as the helper is eager to jump in and do everything (especially if they have a lot of experience with babies) but the mother would rather the helper just tend to practical things (change diapers, cook food, do laundry, buy baby supplies). One of our friends actually told her helper, "These are my children. I am their mother. Just do the practical things and leave all the parenting duties to me." So, you might not know how you feel about this but it's something to think about--how do you see your role as a parent and how does your helper fit into things?
I would post important numbers several places in the house and make sure she's programmed them into her phone.
Congrats and here's to a great birth!
Thanka is totally right. Be clear now -- while you still have time, and are not suffering from exhaustion and not thinking straight -- to set boundaries. I waited until a few days after the baby was born to find out that my helper and I had very different views on her role. Her old employer wanted her to do EVERYTHING for the child, but I found that style intrusive.
She would burst into our room if the baby was crying, and I found that an invastion of privacy. She felt it was her job to make childcare decisions, probably because she had to before. We didn't like that.
Unfortunately, one week post partum is not a good time to sit down and have lengthy discussions with your helper, even if intentions are good on all sides.
And, yes. Get her used to your regular foods now. One-week post-partum is also not the time to try to explain to her particular brands or types of Western food.
We though our helper was "used to us" before -- but that's because life is so much easier before the baby comes. After the baby came, we realized we had not prepared her enough. Though things are better now.
She would burst into our room if the baby was crying, and I found that an invastion of privacy. She felt it was her job to make childcare decisions, probably because she had to before. We didn't like that.
Unfortunately, one week post partum is not a good time to sit down and have lengthy discussions with your helper, even if intentions are good on all sides.
And, yes. Get her used to your regular foods now. One-week post-partum is also not the time to try to explain to her particular brands or types of Western food.
We though our helper was "used to us" before -- but that's because life is so much easier before the baby comes. After the baby came, we realized we had not prepared her enough. Though things are better now.
Hi there, congrats on your twins. As a fellow mother of twins I would first like to advise you to join Mothers of Multiples (www.moms-hongkong.com) if you haven't already.
Many people have given you great advice, however, I know that those last weeks of pregnancy with twins can be very very hard. I made it all the way to 38 weeks and a few days and my babies were extremely large (larger than most of my friends' singletons) so you may not be able to do that much at the end in terms. However, that doesn't mean that you and your helper cannot sort things out as previous people have mentioned. However, no matter how young, try to go out for walk, small errands, with or without babies, even if it's only for 10-20-30 minutes, no matter how long it takes to get out of the house. Practice makes (almost) perfect, plus it gets you and the babies out of the house.
In terms of a schedule. I am a believer that schedules are very important, especially with twins, even if it's only to stay sane. Flexibility is all nice, but I had 3 under 3 to manage by myself without a helper and without my family (and my husband having a busy job). The sooner you have some kind of routine, the easier life will become as a mother of twins. You won't be able to meet all demands at the same time with 2 babies in the house, so starting early with some kind of schedule will help you and them. Two babies at night is exhausting, the sooner you/they know what to expect the better. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be flexible, that doesn't mean things won't change once you think you have them down, but they will get it, and it will make a big difference for you and your household. So by all means, start with any schedule /routine that you think works and work with it, adapt, etc.
I can recommend, Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins from Marc Weissbluth to get some pointers how to deal with sleep in terms of infant twins. Whether or not you agree with his ideas, it helps you understand how sleep works, gives some ideas and food for thought. Also MoMs will be a great resource in order to share experiences with other moms, so if you haven't joined already, please do. We've all been there! Because as a mom of a singleton and twins, I can tell you it's not the same, it's a whole different ball game ... but lots of fun!
Many people have given you great advice, however, I know that those last weeks of pregnancy with twins can be very very hard. I made it all the way to 38 weeks and a few days and my babies were extremely large (larger than most of my friends' singletons) so you may not be able to do that much at the end in terms. However, that doesn't mean that you and your helper cannot sort things out as previous people have mentioned. However, no matter how young, try to go out for walk, small errands, with or without babies, even if it's only for 10-20-30 minutes, no matter how long it takes to get out of the house. Practice makes (almost) perfect, plus it gets you and the babies out of the house.
In terms of a schedule. I am a believer that schedules are very important, especially with twins, even if it's only to stay sane. Flexibility is all nice, but I had 3 under 3 to manage by myself without a helper and without my family (and my husband having a busy job). The sooner you have some kind of routine, the easier life will become as a mother of twins. You won't be able to meet all demands at the same time with 2 babies in the house, so starting early with some kind of schedule will help you and them. Two babies at night is exhausting, the sooner you/they know what to expect the better. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be flexible, that doesn't mean things won't change once you think you have them down, but they will get it, and it will make a big difference for you and your household. So by all means, start with any schedule /routine that you think works and work with it, adapt, etc.
I can recommend, Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins from Marc Weissbluth to get some pointers how to deal with sleep in terms of infant twins. Whether or not you agree with his ideas, it helps you understand how sleep works, gives some ideas and food for thought. Also MoMs will be a great resource in order to share experiences with other moms, so if you haven't joined already, please do. We've all been there! Because as a mom of a singleton and twins, I can tell you it's not the same, it's a whole different ball game ... but lots of fun!
Last edited:
Gracey,
I just wanted to comment on your Gina Ford comment. I think for general reference it is important that information is correct so other users know exactly what you mean. Yes, a 2 week old baby can go 4 hours between feeds (but Gina reccommends this for only 2 of the daily feeds, not all of them) but she actually advocates that until the baby has regained their birth weight and if they are below 3.2 kilos to feed around the clock every 3 hours. I think misinterpretations like these ones give some parenting gurus a bad name when really there is no need for it. I am a proud Gina Mum. My son was 4.5 kilos when born and he's been on a Gina routine since birth. He has been such an easy baby and I credit it all to the fact he is always well rested and well fed (the basis of the Gina Ford routines). I am now pregnant with our second and will use Gina's routines again as they just make sense to me.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion but if someone reads what you wrote and takes it as it is, then really they are getting the wrong information.
I just wanted to comment on your Gina Ford comment. I think for general reference it is important that information is correct so other users know exactly what you mean. Yes, a 2 week old baby can go 4 hours between feeds (but Gina reccommends this for only 2 of the daily feeds, not all of them) but she actually advocates that until the baby has regained their birth weight and if they are below 3.2 kilos to feed around the clock every 3 hours. I think misinterpretations like these ones give some parenting gurus a bad name when really there is no need for it. I am a proud Gina Mum. My son was 4.5 kilos when born and he's been on a Gina routine since birth. He has been such an easy baby and I credit it all to the fact he is always well rested and well fed (the basis of the Gina Ford routines). I am now pregnant with our second and will use Gina's routines again as they just make sense to me.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion but if someone reads what you wrote and takes it as it is, then really they are getting the wrong information.
Hi Rooj -
My comment was not to bash Gina Ford. In fact, I read two of her books and got much information from them, and then recommended her toddler one to a friend! I just meant to the original poster that it's not always possible to pre-set a strict schedule with a helper before a baby arrives (or in her case, two babies!). That's what we did -- we planned on using Gina Ford -- and it didn't work for us. You can't predict 100% what's going to happen. We had to be flexible and work with what we had. (The helper, too -- that's the point of this thread).
I did find Ford's tone to be too adamant though. Yes, she briefly mentions in the text that very small babies have to feed more often, and to follow doctor's advice. But for the majority of her book, she really pushes her routines -- and her answers to many Q&A, like why is my baby colicy and crying, imply that it's because people are not following her rules. Most parents will read the text just once, but focus mostly on what time they are supposed to do what. And if you look at the 2-4 week routine, it was, in my opinion, too harsh for my particular newborn, without enough feeding times. I also didn't like her limiting feeding times to a set number of minutes per breast (my particular newborn needed more).
I am lucky that we can afford a good private pediatrician, who took time to really give us feeding and scheduling advice, as well as home visits from a professional midwife, both of whom told me not to follow such routines. But other mothers might just take the book at face value, and their babies might not get enough milk if they strictly try to "hold" them longer between feeds.
All babies are different. From being born at 2.6 kg, my baby is now a healthy, plump 4.5 kgs. Thanks to my own routine, she has grown better than expected. She still does not happily go 4 hours between feeds during the day -- not even once. She feeds every 3 hours during the day. This allows her to sleep from 9 pm to 7 am with only one nighttime feed. That's not Gina's way, but it works for us.
I have nothing against "Gina moms". But I wonder why every one I meet gets very defensive if they feel anyone questions their system or does something different?
My comment was not to bash Gina Ford. In fact, I read two of her books and got much information from them, and then recommended her toddler one to a friend! I just meant to the original poster that it's not always possible to pre-set a strict schedule with a helper before a baby arrives (or in her case, two babies!). That's what we did -- we planned on using Gina Ford -- and it didn't work for us. You can't predict 100% what's going to happen. We had to be flexible and work with what we had. (The helper, too -- that's the point of this thread).
I did find Ford's tone to be too adamant though. Yes, she briefly mentions in the text that very small babies have to feed more often, and to follow doctor's advice. But for the majority of her book, she really pushes her routines -- and her answers to many Q&A, like why is my baby colicy and crying, imply that it's because people are not following her rules. Most parents will read the text just once, but focus mostly on what time they are supposed to do what. And if you look at the 2-4 week routine, it was, in my opinion, too harsh for my particular newborn, without enough feeding times. I also didn't like her limiting feeding times to a set number of minutes per breast (my particular newborn needed more).
I am lucky that we can afford a good private pediatrician, who took time to really give us feeding and scheduling advice, as well as home visits from a professional midwife, both of whom told me not to follow such routines. But other mothers might just take the book at face value, and their babies might not get enough milk if they strictly try to "hold" them longer between feeds.
All babies are different. From being born at 2.6 kg, my baby is now a healthy, plump 4.5 kgs. Thanks to my own routine, she has grown better than expected. She still does not happily go 4 hours between feeds during the day -- not even once. She feeds every 3 hours during the day. This allows her to sleep from 9 pm to 7 am with only one nighttime feed. That's not Gina's way, but it works for us.
I have nothing against "Gina moms". But I wonder why every one I meet gets very defensive if they feel anyone questions their system or does something different?
Rooj -- BTW, I don't appreciate being told that I am giving "wrong information" when I am just stating an opinion that is different than yours. I think this forum needs some respect for different points of view.
You say confidently "Yes, a 2 week old baby can go 4 hours between feeds." Well, not all of them. You had a particularly large newborn at 4.5 kg. That statement is only right for some babies, not for others.
The babies in my family are all healthy, but small -- usually below 3 kgs. Me, my husband, my baby, my niece were all 2.6-2.8 kg at birth.
When our baby "regained her birthweight" at 2.6 kgs, she was far, far, from going 4 hours between feeds. After 2 hours, she would scream with hunger and stick her fists in her mouth. Her stomach was half the size of your LO's stomach! She didn't reach your baby's birthweight until she was 10 weeks old.
I didn't see the Gina recommendation that babies below 3.2 kgs -- that particular weight -- feed around the clock every 3 hours. My husband and I both read the book carefully. Both of us came to the conclusion that, except for real newborns, Gina expects all babies of all sizes to be following her routines after several weeks. I think if creates an unrealistic expectation that if your kid isn't eating / sleeping at her set times, it is somehow your fault.
I wonder if her schedules would work better if they were by weight, as opposed to by age. That might be more helpful and more flexible. But that's for a Gina Ford conversation, not one on twins and helpers!
If she works for you, that;s wonderful. I wish you the best of luck with your 2nd pregnancy! Right. Nightfeed is over and it's time for this Mom's "second sleep".
You say confidently "Yes, a 2 week old baby can go 4 hours between feeds." Well, not all of them. You had a particularly large newborn at 4.5 kg. That statement is only right for some babies, not for others.
The babies in my family are all healthy, but small -- usually below 3 kgs. Me, my husband, my baby, my niece were all 2.6-2.8 kg at birth.
When our baby "regained her birthweight" at 2.6 kgs, she was far, far, from going 4 hours between feeds. After 2 hours, she would scream with hunger and stick her fists in her mouth. Her stomach was half the size of your LO's stomach! She didn't reach your baby's birthweight until she was 10 weeks old.
I didn't see the Gina recommendation that babies below 3.2 kgs -- that particular weight -- feed around the clock every 3 hours. My husband and I both read the book carefully. Both of us came to the conclusion that, except for real newborns, Gina expects all babies of all sizes to be following her routines after several weeks. I think if creates an unrealistic expectation that if your kid isn't eating / sleeping at her set times, it is somehow your fault.
I wonder if her schedules would work better if they were by weight, as opposed to by age. That might be more helpful and more flexible. But that's for a Gina Ford conversation, not one on twins and helpers!
If she works for you, that;s wonderful. I wish you the best of luck with your 2nd pregnancy! Right. Nightfeed is over and it's time for this Mom's "second sleep".
Oops. I tried to edit that comment and this silly forum wouldn't let me.
No, of course Gina Ford would not ACTIVELY tell someone to ignore a doctor's advice. But she certainly spends very little time writing about different babies -- particularly small or sickly or early babies -- with different needs. There may be a few sentences. But the grand majority of her book pushes her own system.
Nothing wrong with that. But -- back to the original poster -- you can't read a book before your kid is born, put your helper on a pre-set schedule, and expect 100% that it will work out that way.
No, of course Gina Ford would not ACTIVELY tell someone to ignore a doctor's advice. But she certainly spends very little time writing about different babies -- particularly small or sickly or early babies -- with different needs. There may be a few sentences. But the grand majority of her book pushes her own system.
Nothing wrong with that. But -- back to the original poster -- you can't read a book before your kid is born, put your helper on a pre-set schedule, and expect 100% that it will work out that way.
rani
Administrator
You have 10 mins to edit your post.
I haven't read Gina Ford, so I can't comment on her, but although I am a big fan of schedules, I completely agree with Gracy that there are many babies who cannot go for 4 hours without a feed during the day. My oldest was well over 9lbs, born late, 95% since birth (still 95% for height) and my twins were close to 8lbs a piece and born full term. None of them could go 4 hours without a feed (during the day). I fed them every 2 1/2 - 3 hours. My oldest, an extremely heavy but happy spitter, needed smaller quantities more frequently, my twin boy had severe reflux (spitting up blood, was on meds), so same story. My twin girl could go 3 - 3 1/2 hours, but honestly with twins it was easier to feed them at the same time, and both small quantities (she did spit too but not as bad as the others), otherwise you're feeding all day. However, because they ate frequently during the day, my oldest was sleeping 8 hours straight at 6 weeks, and 12 hours at 3 months; my twins slightly slower, but easily 6 hours by 6 weeks and 10-12 hours at 3-4 months.
Again, any type of scheduling will help you especially with twins. But at the same time, the majority of twins is born between 35-36 weeks (but don't let anybody tell you they can't be full term and big!!!), and are in general smaller than singleton babies, so not everything applies as it does for singletons. For your own sanity, start a routine and build on it, it will help you. And that's why I recommend MoMs. No matter how great the advice singleton moms give you, it is great to be able to get advice from other mothers of multiples, because it's just not the same. It simply isn't.
Good luck!
Again, any type of scheduling will help you especially with twins. But at the same time, the majority of twins is born between 35-36 weeks (but don't let anybody tell you they can't be full term and big!!!), and are in general smaller than singleton babies, so not everything applies as it does for singletons. For your own sanity, start a routine and build on it, it will help you. And that's why I recommend MoMs. No matter how great the advice singleton moms give you, it is great to be able to get advice from other mothers of multiples, because it's just not the same. It simply isn't.
Good luck!
Yes, DO set a schedule. I just spoke with a friend who went the 100% natural route and let her kid sleep and snack on the breast on demane, whenever she wanted, and now she's exhausted. Hasn't slept for months.
I think the best is to follow old Dr. Spock's tenant: "You know more than you think you do." Trust your instincts.
When your two little ones come, you will instinctively feel and know when they are hungry. Then gently guide them into sleeping at night, staying more awake in the day, and doing things at certain times.
Meanwhile, get your helper to do as much prep work as possible before the big day. Good luck!
I think the best is to follow old Dr. Spock's tenant: "You know more than you think you do." Trust your instincts.
When your two little ones come, you will instinctively feel and know when they are hungry. Then gently guide them into sleeping at night, staying more awake in the day, and doing things at certain times.
Meanwhile, get your helper to do as much prep work as possible before the big day. Good luck!
I've been reading these comments about Gina Ford with interest and I think there is also one point that's missing in the discussion (although, I do realize that a thorough discussion of Gina Ford's formula for baby success or any other formula is a bit off-topic in this particular thread). The point I think is missing is that there are different parenting styles which are largely a product of different parent personalities and it's impossible to say that there is one "right" way. Some people don't schedule their babies at all and that works for them. There are all points along a continuum, right? I think that's one thing that a new parent can't really know until they fully get into parenting--it's also a journey of self-discovery for us parents. So, whether or not the "Gina Ford way" or any other way will work for a particular person has a lot to do with the way that person prefers to perform other tasks in her life. For my husband and I, following a strict schedule would never fit our personal style so we had to compromise for the sake of our baby (and our own sanity) and set up a loose schedule. Here's where intuition comes into play and us mamas have a lot of it. I purposely chose not to read many of the "baby help books" out there for that very reason. So far my intuition has been a very good guide with a few pointers from books along the way. So, my intuition tells me when my baby should eat and I just go with that.
I agree with thanka2. To follow to the book on a schedule will be more tiring and will drive me crazy. But that is me.
We follow a schedule but I am flexible about it. If my baby seems hungry or tired though it is not time yet, I will feed her, settle her for naps.
Posted via Mobile Device
We follow a schedule but I am flexible about it. If my baby seems hungry or tired though it is not time yet, I will feed her, settle her for naps.
Posted via Mobile Device
Thank you so so much for all the great advice! I've got my helper onto a childcare/first aid course, we're busily doing all the baby laundry (now that I can finally bring myself to unpack things), am drawing up a list of emergency numbers etc etc. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have advice from other mums on what to do - I've been feeling so lost. Hubby and I will be discussing boundaries, schedules etc in light of everything you've said and then put our decisions to our helper - so much to think about!
carang
Registered User
one thing to remember:
although you may read dozens of books about babies and how you should/should not feed them, burp them, put them to sleep... your baby has NOT read the books. your baby is an individual and while the books may give you an idea of what you want to do and how you want to do it, when that little bundle arrives, they often have their own ideas about how you will do things.
flexibility and moderation are the keys to happy parenting. (at least in my view)
although you may read dozens of books about babies and how you should/should not feed them, burp them, put them to sleep... your baby has NOT read the books. your baby is an individual and while the books may give you an idea of what you want to do and how you want to do it, when that little bundle arrives, they often have their own ideas about how you will do things.
flexibility and moderation are the keys to happy parenting. (at least in my view)