Newborn won't sleep!!

S

Shenzhennifer

Registered User
My second is 5 weeks old. Ever since about 3 weeks, she has been a terrible daytime sleeper, just like her brother at that age. It's the exact same thing all over again. She is exclusively breastfed and has worked out already that she needs to suck to sleep. Of course, as soon as I put her down, her eyes open within minutes. But if I'm holding her, she's happy to sleep, until I put her down. She is awake most of the day except for tiny catnaps. At nighttime she's ok, sleeping 3-4.5 hrs at a time.
I can't believe I'm going through the same thing again. But this time I don't have the time to spend on 'training' her as I'm still in survival mode with the two of them around.
Any ideas? I thought I would feel a bit more experienced this time around. I feel like a newbie all over again.
 
Oh no, not again. I remeber your posts from a few years back. Poor you.
I dont know what advice to offer other than remembering to be consistent and stick it out. Hopefully number two will get the hang of it after some time, he/she is only 5 weeks afterall.
My first was like yours and I dreaded having a second. However, after some time and patience, she's a good sleeper on the whole.
Just a few hints:-
1. swaddle tight
2. Try to read the tired signs early so they're not overtired. My first was a screamer, my second starts to jerk a bit when she's tired.
3. Put them down when they are very relaxed and sleepy. I could never put mine down totally awake.
4. Make sure the room is dark and quiet.
Having said all that, I really believe how good a baby sleeps has a lot to do with the child's personality. My first was a 'mummy's girl' only, a cryer, easily irritated. she is still like that to this date!
Good luck.
 
Hi Shenzhennifer, congrats on you new baby!

If you don't have time training her right now, you may try putting her down (really slowly) when she is in deep sleep. Another option is for you to breastfeed her on the lying position on your bed. When the baby is asleep, you can just roll to the other side of the bed and leave.

Good luck!
 
have you tried a pacifier? my daughter would not sleep well at all and would suck constantly if allowed. i introduce the pacifier when she was 4 days old and then i was finally able to sleep. she spat it out a few times to start with, but i was persistant and it worked wonders.

my son, on the other hand, hated it and never used anything.
 
Maybe she doesn't need to nap a lot during the day. My second baby (now 2.5mth) doesn't take long naps during the day one hour max each time. I think he got enough rest while breastfeeding. establishing a consistent nap schedule helps, as does putting him in a quiet dark room away from my toddler.
Good luck.
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would try feeding in the lying down position...or else, just not worrying too much about naps - my 9mth old only slept 20mins today and has been up since 8am...last night she slept 11 1/2 hours...don't know if that's enough or not for her - but she seems to be a happy camper so i'm not too worried. She DOES however need a pacifier to sleep - so i just give it to her...beats fighting with her to sleep. also, when she's not tired i don't force a nap on her - i've tried several times today - thinking she "should" be tired - guess not...she would always pop up after i put her down and start smiling at me.

good luck!
 
Sadly I don't have a miracle answer other than try not to worry about it too much she is only 5 weeks old and no routine and short naps even being held may just work for her.

My first was a GF baby and had a fairly rigid schedule (I didnt follow it precisely and adapted it) and had a 2hour lunch nap every day from a very young age plus one morning and one afternoon nap. With my second (and no helper) it was just not possible to have such a structured routine. He gets dragged around on the school run etc etc and just today when I achieved getting him to have a nap in his cot my toddler runs into his room 10 minutes later and screams "wakey wakey little man its not sleeping time now!".

Like others have said try letting her nap when she wants/needs it, my son (now 4.5months) has several shorter naps, sometimes only 15minutes sometimes 45minutes, but usually while I am carrying him at the playground or in the car, rarely if ever in his cot and only then if I have fed him to sleep and managed to slowly place him in there, most tiems he then wakes u, I have even put him in the baby bjorn at home so he can sleep!

The only routine he has is that I try to make sure he has had enough sleep before 5pm so that I then keep him awake from 5 for feed, play, bath, feed and bed by 7. Some nights he sleeps 7-6 other times he wakes about4 for a feed. I have decided that as long as at night he is happy sleeping on his own then we just take each day as it comes.

Sorry for rambling post, hope it makes some sense. Now if only my 3 year old would sleep!!!!!
 
Sounds like she may be one of those babies who loves to be worn. But, I know you're not big on baby wearing. I'm not either but I've decided that I'm going to give it a try this time around and see if it helps save my sanity a bit. We'll have to see on that one. Also, seems like she's one of those really alert babies--not one of the "sleepy newborns" that when my son was born everyone assured most babies are (but, since my son wasn't, I still think they must be "mythical creatures"). When she wakes up is she upset or is it more like she just wants to interact and be entertained? But, hey, it's pretty cool that she's at least sleeping a bit at night--better than nothing. How well is your 2-year-old doing with sleep and naps?
 
Sorry, I have no answers for you. I can just feel what you are going through. With my second arriving in about 7 weeks, I am really praying that he will be a better sleeper than my first before he turn 5 month. Especially now that I hate to have our routine break up all again now that my first is sleeping well.

Would love to see how to cope with it in the end. Or hang in there for a few more month. Things will get better as you know it.
 
Thanka2- I wish I could be a baby wearer sometimes but it's too much strain on my back. Even with her in the carrier for a while is painful and she's barely above 4 kgs. She was sleepy for the first 3 weeks, then woke up, until now:) when she wakes up after a short time, she is usually annoyed that I stopped holding her. After a long time, she's just hungry. Yes, shes ok once shes down for the night, but getting her down takes a lot of effort. She needs to really be all sucked out and just exhausted. My 2 yr old is awesome with naps and sleeps, but believe me, I have paid the dues and also spent a lot of time on him, making him a good sleeper. I have less time to do that with this one.

Nic-I had to laugh at your post. A little bit similar around here. I almost shouldn't wonder why she can't sleep with all the screaming and shouting that comes from my toddler:)

Lesliefu- I probably shouldn't worry too much...it's just that I feel bad for my boy, bc all my time is now
dedicated to taking care of baby bc she's always awake. I don't have enough time for my boy, not to mention myself, the house, or anything else.


Carang-yes I have thought about pacifier, but still not sure i want to go there. She definitely likes non-nutritive sucking though as she gets really pissed off at my many letdowns when she is trying to fall asleep on me! But part of me likes every bit if milk that she gets as her weight gain has been great and I don't want to upset that.

Gataloca-thanks for your congrats:) the main thing I'm trying to avoid here, though, is the sucking to sleep as well as the holding to sleep. My son sucked to sleep all the time (thought that was normal with BF babies) and then basically never knew how to put himself to sleep without my breast. And now this baby is doing the same thing!

Sea Princess-haha, that's funny you remember! I was thinking that I must have posted something similar 2 years ago. For this baby, I can swaddle, unlike my last guy, though during the day I don't so much bc I always have to pick her up a few min after I put her down so I get last to do it fifty times a day;) I also think she is a bit of a mamas girl, I felt that the moment her.

Thanks fornthe advice everyone! I must perservere. It's just tiring and I feel bad for my poor little boy. And I want my baby to be a good sleeper, just don't know how tonget her there...again! Ah, that's why they make these babies so cute, I guess:)

Biggie-interesting thought of baby getting enough rest while breastfeeding, especially during some of those monster sessions. I never looked at it that way.
 
Just a thought......

I have been known to put baby in cot/moses basket and let him suck my little finger until he falls asleep and then gentley remove my finger. i found that this didnt wake him but placing him in the cot after he was asleep would. Not a pacifier but works just as well- equally now my baby doesnt need my finger he puts himself to sleep but it did seem like for months on end I had a finger in his mouth. Plus it allowed me to have finger in his mouth and toddler sat on my lap so I got some time with her as well.

It is hard giving enough time to number 1 when you have a newborn as well, just try and get your son involved in baby related activities. My daughter loves undoing the diaper of her brother (I have allowed her to be far more hands on than I would have imagined). He is definitely not wrapped in cotton wool like his sister was!
 
Shenzhennifer said:
Thanka2- I wish I could be a baby wearer sometimes but it's too much strain on my back. Even with her in the carrier for a while is painful and she's barely above 4 kgs. She was sleepy for the first 3 weeks, then woke up, until now:) when she wakes up after a short time, she is usually annoyed that I stopped holding her. After a long time, she's just hungry. Yes, shes ok once shes down for the night, but getting her down takes a lot of effort. She needs to really be all sucked out and just exhausted. My 2 yr old is awesome with naps and sleeps, but believe me, I have paid the dues and also spent a lot of time on him, making him a good sleeper. I have less time to do that with this one.
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Me too with the back problems. I still have this dumb slightly herniated disc in my back that crippled me after my son was born but I also did some pilates earlier on this pregnancy and I think that may have helped a bit. I've bought a Moby Wrap and also an ergo and I'm just going to see if either of those help this time around.

Well, that's awesome that she was at least sleepy for three weeks--least gives you a chance to get your bearings a bit after birth--I'll hope for the same thing with this one! It's also nice that your efforts, even though they are hard work, are rewarded with her sleeping a bit at night--to me, for a newborn, that's just amazing--never had that experience. I think you're getting somewhere. She's just in that "4th trimester" they talk about in "Happiest Baby on the Block."

Also great that your 2-year-old is sleeping well and not causing you additional stress with tough sleeping habits--looks like your hard work with him was a good investment too.
 
Sorry to hear about the sleep. My 5 mo old often needs to be re-settled during her naps as well. Every once in a while she will go 1.25-2 hrs straight but often she needs from 5-30(ugh) mins of re-settling 30 mins to 1 hr after she goes down. My now 26 mos son was the same way, but like you, I was able to sort him out a bit younger than #2 and it was probably b/c I was 100% focused on him and at the time didn't have help either.

Would you consider having someone come in PT (yes, may need to be local or illegal) for a couple of hrs a day to play w your son in the house so you could put in the work in on at least one nap per day with the baby?

If I didn't have help, #2 would def be in the baby carrier a lot and b/c that isn't an option for you, I'm struggling to come up w a "fix". You could also try the Annerly sleep clinic. The price is $1,200 so not a bargain alternative but she may have ideas.

Nic - how are you managing a 5-7 bedtime routine with #2 and no help? I am struggling to establish a meaningful bedtime routine for #2 around #1's dinner and bedtime without having my helper feed #1 or put either down. I've wound up putting the baby down after #1, as every time I tried to put her down first, she would require extra settling and it would push back my son's well established routine too long and cause him to be overtired.
 
zyxwv- 4.5months in when 5pm hits our house runs like a well oiled machine, there are days I live for the sanity of 7pm!
During the day I confess no.2 has no real structured sleeps and often ends sleeping in the bjorn while I am out and about with no.1 but I always make sure we are home by5. We all sit at the table and no.1 has dinner (she turned 3 last week so can feed herself, albeit there is quite a bit of mess!) and no.2 has half a feed (he is bf). After dinner I bath them together then no.2 gets out first and I dress him while no.1 gets to play a little longer in the bath. When baby is dressed he gets to have a kick on No.1's bed while I dress her. Then no.1 gets into bed and has her milk while I sit next to her and read to her while giving no.2 the second half of his feed.
When I have finished reading (usually she gets 3 books) I tell her I am going to out her brother to bed (who has usually fallen asleep) and give her a kiss and 9 times out of 10 by the time I get back to her room she is asleep in bed, rarely is this after 7pm, never after 7.15.
No.2 then sleeps until 4am when he needs a feed and resettles or if I am lucky he will go until 6am.

With no.1 I was a strong believer in routine, I havent been able to implement one for no.2 other than 5pm onwards and it doesnt seem to have too bad an effect on him. Different child I guess. I chose to accept no routine for naps during the day as long as it didnt adversely affect his night time sleeping and so far it seems to be working out ok.

How are you getting on with your 2?

Reading all these posts makes me thankful I am not the only one out there battling these problems.
 
zyxwv - I actually have someone helping me that I hired for 2 months but she will be stopping soon, unfortunately. It's been amazing. Although she does take my son out from time to time, and accompanies him to playgroup twice per week, it's not enough time to do anything with #2's sleeping. I usually struggle just to shower, eat, check email and take a breather. And most of the time she is actually awake during that, so... I might just have to wait til she is a bit older and then do a kind of sleep training with her, like I had to do with my son. But like others are admitting to, I might just have to forget about the notion of her having regular or set naptimes. I'm actually ok with that, it's just the NON-sleeping part that I'm a bit withered about.

Nic - When did you start bathing them together? And getting dinner done and all that accomplished with no helper? Wow! I've had hired help since my #2 was born and I can't see how to accomplish that in the timespan. Awesome you. It was easier with #1 with the bathtime routine. He always went down for the night afterwards (with many nighttime feeds, of course), but with #2, routine is not catching on yet. Maybe because older brother is still full of beans after his bath and screams and jumps on the bed and sings right up til he falls asleep. Who can sleep through that? Plus, I still sit with my older one a few minutes before he goes into his crib then I have to help him put his sleeping bag on. Hard to do while breastfeeding. I've tried!
 
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