Sharing - Too many activities?

O

OX Jess

Registered User
Hello, I'd like to have some views from other parents:

My son is 2 and has just started his pre-nursey class (Mon ~ Fri, 3 hours in the morning) three weeks ago. Children in the class experience music, art work, story-telling, group-play, gross & fine motor skills, etc.

However, I can't stop thinking about enrolling him to other activities/playgroups on Sat/Sun. I haven't done it yet although I keep searching, as one side of my brain says, "5 days' morning class is enough for his general development so leave the Sat & Sun for family time"; but on the side of my brain says, "no no, he should do more, like joining some sports, taking up more art / music actvities, rather than being idle at home."

Actually, we are not really being idle at home on Sat & Sun, as we have a DIY toddlers get-together every Sat, in which my son meets a group of his friends of similar age to play for an hour. On Sun, my hubby and I normally take my son out to park/beach/somewhere spacious for him to run around.

Sometimes I think I am just being pathetic with thought of enrolling my son to this and that... and I should just take it easy and believe a 5-morning pre-nursery class is quite enough until he is probably 4-5 ?!? Do your kid, apart from attending nursery, also attend other activities at this young age?
 
OXJess: here is a poem for you:
You say that you love your children,
And are concerned that they learn today,
As am I, that's why I'm providing
A variety of kinds of play.
You are asking what's the value
Of having your children play?
Your daughter's creating a tower,
She may be a builder someday.

You're asking me the value
Of blocks and sand and clay.
Your children are solving problems,
They will use that skill every day.

You're saying that you don't want your son
To play in that sissy way.
He's learning to cuddle a doll,
He may be a father someday.

You're questioning the interest centers,
They just look like useless play.
Your children are making choices,
They'll be on their own someday.

You're worried your children aren't learning
And later they'll have to pay.
They're learning a pattern for learning,
For they'll be learners always.
 
another one:

When I am building in the block room, please don't say I'm "just playing". For you see, I'm learning as I play, about balance and shapes. Who knows, I may be an architect someday.

When I'm getting all dressed up, setting the table, caring for the babies, don't get the idea I'm "just playing". For, you see, I'm learning as I play; I may be a mother or a father someday.

When you see me up to my elbows in paint or standing at an easel, or molding and shaping clay, please don't let me hear you say, "He is just playing". For, you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm expressing myself and being creative. I may be an artist or an inventor someday.

When you see me sitting in a chair "reading" to an imaginary audience, please don't laugh and think I'm "just playing". For, you see, I'm learning as I play. I may be a teacher someday.

When you see me combing the bushes for bugs, or packing my pockets with choice things I find, don't pass it off as "just play". For you see, I'm learning as I play. I may be a scientist someday.

When you see me engrossed in a puzzle or some "plaything" at my school, please don't feel the time is wasted in "play". For, you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning to solve problems and concentrate. I may be in business someday.

When you see me cooking or tasting foods, please don't think that because I enjoy it, it is "just play". I'm learning to follow direction and see differences. I may be a cook someday.

When you see me learning to skip, hop, run and move my body, please don't say I'm "just playing". For, you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning how my body works. I may be a doctor, nurse or athlete someday.

When you ask me what I've done at school today, and I say, "I just played", please don't misunderstand me. For you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work. I'm preparing for tomorrow. Today, I am a child and my work is play.
 
as you know, i am a playgroup owner/leader/teacher. first off, i would say: do what feels right for your family. secondly: your child is TWO years old! he doesn't NEED to be entertained 24/7. he DOES need quality family time with you and your husband.

it is really up to you, but maybe you might want to look at putting him into ONE or TWO classes per week and see which ones he likes.... then decide.

children all over the world are so over-scheduled now, they don't get any time to play and be children. i think it is really very sad indeed.
 
Can't thank you enough Carang.. I think I know what I should do... Yes, I agree, Children all over the world are so over-scheduled and they are growing up too fast... Thanks.
 
Frankly, I think 5 days a week playgroup at 2 years old is already to much.

Let them be babies. Love them, play with them, spend time with them because soon enough the pressures of the world will take them from you in more ways than one!
 
Let Children be Children. Personally I agree 5 days a week for a 2 year old is too much.

Here is a recent NY Times article on the subject.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/13/y...uarantee-of-later-success.html?pagewanted=all

...“It’s easy to take a look at the more successful kids and assume that all the activities are why they are more successful,” Professor Caplan said. But research doesn’t bear that out.

On a recent National Public Radio program, Steven D. Levitt, a professor of economics at the University of Chicago, said he and another economist could find no evidence that that sort of parental choices could be correlated at all with academic success.

“And my guess is,” he went on, “that when it comes to the happiness of kids, that kind of cramming has got to be negatively correlated. Being rushed from one event to the other is just not the way most kids want to live their lives, at least not my kid.” Professor Levitt was also co-author of the New York Times blog Freakonomics....

Raising kids is a marathon, not a sprint.
 
My daughter has just turned two and has not yet been attending any classes. She goes to the play room where she has friends she plays with, she also plays with her brother, father and I.

I may enrole her in playgroup one or two afternoons a week after christmas to get her used to being in a classroom environment before she starts nursery next september, but i have not thought that far ahead yet!

At home with me she is currently mastering the art of hand painting, playdough, dress up (which can hamper my attempts to iron as she ends up wearing her whole wardrobe!), story telling and singing. She knows all the usual nursery rhymes but her favourite song to sing at the moment is "baby" by Justin beiber!

I wouldn't be too stressed about trying to fill in every waking hour with "scheduled activities" because it is equally important that they learn to entertain themselves and to spend time with family and friends.
 
Thanks ladies. All very well said. After reading your views here, I believe I shall just leave the Sat & Sun be our family time.. no more classes/extra activities for him... :agree:

Another point is: If I were a full-time mum, I might not enrol him to any pre-nursery class. I am working full time so during the day my son is looked after by his granny and I just don't think his granny provides enough "stimulation" to him.

Every weekend he is just so happy to be with me & my husband.. and I think that's what I want to see...So Monday morning is always a hard time for him to be back to his class..
 
I think that because you are working full time, and you feel that he is not getting enough stimulation by his grand mother then you are right to enrol him in the week day classes. It will probably be good to get him in to that routine before your new baby arrives.

I am very lucky that I have the opportunity to stay at home with the children and If I were in your situation ,where you are working during the week, I would not do any classes during weekends.

Take advantage of the fact that you can spend some quality time with him, just being together as a family.
 
My daughter has just turned 2 and is attending pre nursery 5x a week. I plan to enrol her for some activities in the pm after her naps, not to 'make' her learn anything in specific, but that she enjoys being out and being with others. She always has fun at the little gym or the music class and looks forward to them :) weekend is family time, we take her swimming every sat morning (Harry Wright). She loves that too.
 
Thank you voices of sanity. I was recently asked if I am looking into classes for my kid (he is 8 months old!). I think the penchant in Hong Kong for sending kids from one class to another is ridiculous. Most of us grew up without all this and are doing very well in life, and probably had a happier childhood too.

And then I read somewhere that to get into primary school (local EMI/DSS system), kids need a 'portfolio' of activities so suddenly I was wondering if I would be forced to send my kid to activities just so that he can have the necessary certificates to get him into school. That may be the only reason I would send my kid to activities (if the system forced me to) though my husband says he'd rather we just move out of Hong Kong then to our home country, which though "third world", at least would allow our kids a normal childhood.

The person who suggested my kid go to a scheduled activity at 8 months said that he would get used to other kids. Well, he goes to the park and playroom in our building every day, and seems to already have 'friends'. Another weird thing in HK is that even if there are kids in the same park/estate playgroup, often it will be parents playing with kids instead of the kids playing with each other. But luckily, thanks to my helper I guess, my son knows some of the other kids in the park.

Anyway, I'm glad there are parents who opt out of the 'activities' trend. Curious, does ESF require a portfolio of activities for kindie/primary?
 
In response to the original poster:

I don't think that 5 days of nursery school is necessarily "too much" for a 2 year old. Perhaps for some 2 year olds it is, but it isn't for every 2 year old.

My daughter (nearly 3) has been in school 5 days a week, 2 hrs a day, since she turned 2. She LOVES school and really enjoys it. At the time, I enrolled her because I was at the hospital with my 2nd daughter every day for practically the same hours. I figured she might as well be doing something instead of just sitting at home with our helper.

In addition to school, she does swimming lessons. That's all at the moment - but we have done different trial classes and she seems to really like gymnastics, so we are thinking of enrolling her in that as well.

She regularly has playdates before or after school, and really she is quite busy - but she LOVES being busy. She hates it when she is stuck at home for more than 24 hours at a time.

Other kids I know are homebodies and would just LOVE to play at home all day every day. Perhaps for these kids having extracurricular activities would be unhealthy.

YOU know your child best and you can decide for him/her whether it is beneficial to have lots of activities or few. One child may thrive with lots of activities and be bored at home. Another would thrive at home and would be overstimulated by too many activities.

There's no right and wrong on this issue - weigh it up for yourself and decide what is best for your kid, but don't "judge" those who choose either extreme - to schedule every morning AND afternoon, or to do nothing at all... as long as they are doing it with the child's best interest at heart, then they're doing their best.
 
Totally agree with some of the previous posters in that it's hard to say what is "too much" for each child. Some people think that by sending your child to pre-nursery at 2-years-old that you're overwhelming them but like Nicole said, my son LOVED pre-nursery and for me it wasn't anything about explicit learning for him. It was about letting him socialize and that's what he loves to do most. As soon as he was in the nursery doors he was off--off to play and explore and spend time with his friends.

I never had these types of things when I was growing up, but then again, I also grew up with a fenced-in spacious backyard and as much dirt as I wanted to make mud pies, trees I could climb, a playhouse I could play in and neighborhood children a doorstep away to play with. My son has none of these in HK so I don't feel one bit "guilty" about "keeping him busy" with activities--if he's playing and enjoying himself. He also gets really grumpy if he has to stay at home for more than 24 hours at a time--for example when it's really typhoon weather or something.

I don't think sending one's child to pre-nursery at 2-years-old is forcing them to "grow up too soon." It all depends on the type of setting of the pre-nursery. In the same way I don't think it's a bad idea to take your child for formal or informal playgroup meetups. As long as there is no pressure it's not a bad thing to keep your child busy. The bonus for my son is that he sleeps REALLY well at night and has since he was a toddler and was into all of these activities. He plays so much he wears himself out and even at nearly 4-years-old he takes a rather long nap in the afternoon and sleeps 12 hours at night. He's in kindergarten now and he is often already asleep on the bus when it returns after his 3 hours of school. Additionally, since he really loves sports (as does his dadda, who plays a lot of sports with him--he learned to kick a soccer ball when he was probably about a year old)...we sign him up for a lot of YMCA classes. He's taken gynastics (liked it), taekwondo (not so much), basketball (really liked it), soccer (really liked it) and is now taking swimming (really likes it). Sometimes his classes are on Saturdays but they only take up like an hour and we accompany him so it's a family activity. Sunday my son attends Sunday school with his dadda and has a father-son day with him.
 
as a teacher myself and a full time mommy - i have succumbed to the fact that you need to work with the system and not against it...what i mean is that though i could teach many of the things my kid is learning in pre-nursery, if i were to not enroll her now, the chances of her getting into the school she is in now (and no, it's not one of those famous schools) the chances of her getting accepted would be much lower, as the amount of spaces open for enrollment decreases as you move up the system...that is why i am working with the system, rather than against (lack of a better word - but you get the meaning) it.

lucky for me, schooling is a very positive experience for my daughter, who attends classes M-F for 3 hours / day and loves seeing her friends and teachers - something, i would be unable to provide her at home. so, i guess there are benefits to schooling at such a young age. she has 3 activities apart from school - swimming, soccer and gym (which is parent-child so it gives hubby a good chance to bond)...she's got gross motor issues and so these help her in that area...lucky again that she actually has fun going to them, or else i'd have to find another way to help her develop her gross motor skills.

kids do need to be kids but as long as they find learning fun and enjoyable, i don't think you can really have too many activities - at least at this age...
 
just to clarify, i NEVER said that school 5X/week is too much. i said that overwhelming him with extra activities when he's already going to school 5X/week MIGHT be too much. he DOES need time to chill out and play with mummy and daddy, too!
 
Thanks for all the comments.

In my mind 5-morning-a-week nursery class is not 'too much', as I know children go to the school mainly to play - singing & dancing, climbing up and down the stairs to train gross motor skills, doing artwork to train fine motor skills, storytelling time, snack time, theme group play (e.g. last week they played 'fire squad'). 3 hours is easily passed and I think it is certainly GOOD for my kid. The bonus point is that he, so far, LOVES going to school. Every day I ask him if he likes his teachers Ms. So-and-So, he nods with a small smile which makes me feel that the teachers there are pretty good. I believe kids are very sensitive to the difference between those who are loving & caring and those who are harsh & strict. As I work full time, instead of having him stayed at home doing almost nothing than playing with his toys aimlessly or taken down to the park to play with other kids for an hour, enrolling him to a nursery class is good for him. But, only for half day, I wouldn't enrol to a full-day course when he is only as young as 2! (This is another issue I can share later).

The dilemma I am facing is: whether I should get him into other classes at the weekend, say, a toddler football class, a music/dancing class, a Sunday school, swimming class, etc. or simply let him enjoy being at home with his mummy & daddy. As you will see, my intention for enrolling him to these classes is again to let him "play". I have no intention yet to subject him to any pressure to perform this and that well. I may though when he reaches his primary school age. Then on the other hand, I am thinking, am I 'obsessive/pathetic' to always thinking about getting my just 2-year-old to all sorts of extra-activities? Let's not talk about the costs (the costs of all those activities are not cheap, as you all must know), he doesn't have much time left at home and play quietly by himself. But now, after talking to some of you here, I will drop the idea of enrolling him to all sort of activities at the weekend, though I will bring him to a 1.5 hours Sunday school which is just right downstairs of my building.

I think I got a direction now: he is only 2, I may engage him into more activities after he starts his kindergarten say, at least 3~4, but not now when he is only 2.

On another subject, I received a call from a friend who has put her 2-year-old daughter into a full nursery (Mon ~ Frid, from 8:30 ~ 4:30pm). School has started nearly 3 weeks now but his daughter, since then, woke up crying many times a night, screaming, whenever my friend mentioned the word "school", her daughter repeated "no no no - no school, no school..." She is, in my eye, obviously terrified of the thought of going to school. Some kids have stronger adaptability but some have weaker. I am not 100% sure what is the real reason behind her daughter's night waking, screaming, crying behaviour, however, at the back of my mind, I certainly doubt it is because of the sudden change of environment - schooling. To me, sending a 2-year-old kid to a full day school is FAR TOO MUCH - she is suddenly away from her most familiar environment (home) for 8 hours a day! Teachers might not be as caring and loving as a 2-year-old kid expected... I don't think a kid as young as that should face all these new changes to such an extent. What makes thing even worse is that some techers don't treat 2-year-olds as 2-year-olds, they expect them to be very well-behaved or else they shout at them with very harsh tone. This is another reasons I guess, why my friend's daughter refuses to go to school. 2 years old should be treated as 2 years old... they are still BABIES, only a bigger size!
 
Last edited:
OXJess,

Just would like to share my experience a bit with the whole-day pre-nursery. When we went searching for a good pre-nursery school in our area (out by Yuen Long) we visited no less than 8 or 10 different nurseries. Some of them were truly terrifying, I have to say.

One nursery we visited--we were there at the after-lunch time when children lie down for a rest/nap. First, the school was very crowded. Second, the lighting was poor. The windows were high. The rooms were cold and colorless with plaster walls with nothing on them and there was no walking space as hundreds of children were crammed into these barracks, each section overseen by a "teacher."

You could hear whimpering and crying all over the room--some of the children seemed very frightened. I stood there observing as I a little boy, probably barely 2-years-old stood tugging on the skirt of one of the "teachers" and whimpered and pleaded with her for attention and she merely ignored him and looked the other direction--this went on for about 10 minutes while I was there. We saw other schools that were very similar.

Needless to say, we checked that school off of our list pretty quickly.

It took us a long time to find a good pre-nursery school were were comfortable with. The one my son ended up going to was quite unique as it was authorized to take children with various disabilities and had a special section for children with hearing disabilities. I really liked that about the school because it affected the entire atmosphere as children were integrated and taught respect and care for one another no matter how each child looked or their differences/difficulties.

Originally, I made a BIG DEAL that I only wanted my son in that program for half-day even though it is designed as a full-day program with even an extension option for parents who work late. Children can literally eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at that school! At the time, we had a helper whom we weren't impressed with and were trying to replace--our helper wasn't good at all with little children (great at housework, though) and so I felt safer having my son in that school most of the day than at home. He loved it there. He did cry a bit for the first week or so but after awhile when he walked through those doors he acted like he "owned the place"--he felt very comfortable. I don't think the program was too much for him even though he was there from 9 am until 3 or 4 pm. It ended up being about 3 hours of "class", 1 hour for eating etc., 2 hours for rest/nap and 1 hour for playing and songs before time to go home. So, that was my experience. Even though my son was a "baby" at that age he was always a very active baby and he would have been completely bored if he had been at home, I think--especially given the constraints of houses in HK.

:)
 
thanka2,

I trust there are some really GOOD schools and some very BAD schools out there. In my view, I don't require a school to have very brilliant & sophiscated academic curricumlum for kids. How I judge if I want my 2-year-old to study in that school is by seeing if the teachers have a 'heart' for taking care of a group of 2-year-olds. As a mother you must know what I mean... What a 2-year-old wants? They need 'some' discipline but not in a very strict & harsh way. They can feel freightened for all sorts of reasons so when they are away from Mommy they need comfort from their carer, in that situation the carers are their teachers. When they cry, they need to be pampered/soothed/cuddled and even carried, but to be honest, how many nursery teachers do really have a HEART to care about a group of 2-year-olds? Not EVERYONE of them.

My friend went to see the class this morning from outside of the classroom as she wants to understand why her daughter is so against going to school. One scene really upset her: there are about 24 students in the class, 2 teachers are in charge, some kids run around and refused to sit down despite how much the teachers wanted them to. A local teacher then shouted at the kids in a tone as high enough as to be heard by my friend standing outside, "Don't run around, you all sit down." Is it really the way to treat a bunch of 2-year-old kiddies? I am not a trained teacher I can't say from a teacher's point of view. But I wouldn't do it to any kids as young as that. To my mind, first, this teacher doesn't understand it is really 'difficult' to get every 2-year-old sit down as calm as a kitten (is she asking for a mission impossible?) second, is it necessary to raise her voice like that? She will only scare the kids but won't make the kids like her & like the school. However, the teacher-student ratio is also a problem: 24 students are in charge of by 2 teachers so each teachers has to look after 12 little monkeys! NIGHTMARE@@@
One of the reasons why I chose my son's shcool is because of their teacher-children ratio: 36 kids in charge of by 6 teachers plus two cleaning ladies; so each teachers looks after 6 kids, which is acceptable in my eye! My son's nursery is not at all any 'brand name' school but as long as my son tells me that he likes going to school and he likes teachers Ms. So-and-So, I am pleased! I did on two occasions peep into the class to have a look how the teachers treat the kids and I saw the teachers held the kids on their laps or carried them in arms to calm / soothe them, but not left them there to cry like some schools, which I am very impressed.

Going back to half-day or full-day nursery school, I know it's a very personal choice. I chose half day does not mean those chose full day is not right. I think your family condition will also affect your choice. My son is looked after by my mum & dad so to a certain extent I want my son to have some time, at least few hours a day with them as I know my son will be smoothered with so much love & care. As my mum & dad are so fond of looking after my son, I don't really NEED enrol him into any school in order to give them a break! However, if I didn't have my mum & dad to help me, and have a very poor helper, I might get my son to a full-day nursery without better alternative :tongue:
 
Last edited:
oxjess, i must say that i disagree with you a little on your first paragraph.

it all comes down to WHY a child is crying. if a child is afraid and you give too much comfort, they feel like they have a reason to be afraid. they are getting attention for it. it's often best to say, "no need to be afraid" and help them to "brush it off", if you know what i mean. besides, if there are 20 kids in a class, it is impossible for a teacher to be comforting/carrying every child. therefore, it is better to give a little comfort but NOT to make a big deal of it.

as for the second paragraph, all i can say is if you've never been in a classroom with 24 2 year olds, then yes, it can be ok for a teacher to use a raised voice. sometimes it is necessary, just to be heard!

parents/teachers of very young children need 2 voices. voice # 1 is a praising, higher pitch voice that denotes praise and accomplishment. voice #2 is a firm, sometimes louder (depending on the situation) voice that commands authority.
it is absolutely VITAL that BOTH of these voices are used and developed, so that the children can understand when they have done something wrong.

if you've never been in this type of situation, then i'm afraid, it IS difficult for you to understand what a teacher needs to do in order to accomplish some order in the classroom.

and yes, it IS possible to have a group of 2 year olds all sitting nicely and listening. but in order to do this, you first must get them all sitting down.

i find in hk, parent often "reward" the wrong behaviour. rewards should come from the correct/more appropriate behaviour.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top